Oh Yes You Can!
by harrypanther
Summary: Modern AU. Senior class at Berk High decides to try their hand at a traditional pantomime for their English Project. But when Hiccup is missed from the cast list for Cinderella, will he ever go to the Ball with Astrid?
1. Chapter 1

**OH YES YOU CAN!**

 **Modern AU. Senior class at Berk High decides to try their hand at a traditional pantomime for their English Project. But when Hiccup is missed from the cast list for Cinderella, will he ever go to the Ball with Astrid?**

 **I don't own How to Train Your Dragon (not even for Christmas…boy, that would be hard to wrap…) Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.**

 **A/N: Right-Christmas is round the corner and when I was sitting with my Godson and friends at the Pantomime, I had the very dangerous idea of wondering what would happen if our crew tackled this very traditional form of Christmas entertainment. Here is the results…enjoy!**

….

 **ONE:**

It had seemed like quite an innocuous suggestion as the very bored Senior English Class at Berk High had dozed after lunch.

"This year, you should present something for your parents as a Christmas or Snoggletog entertainment," Mr Mulch had suggested. The English teacher was a short, round and very hairy man who had a wild beard and looked as if he had been hit in the face with a badger but who was always good-humoured and positive. "You're doing a pantomime."

"A pants-what?" Simon 'Snotlout' Jorgensen mumbled disinterestedly. He had been told in no uncertain terms that he had to pass English if he wanted to get his Diploma and as he had failed in the previous three years, this was his last chance.

"A pantomime," Hiccup Haddock piped up. The smartest student in the class was sitting at the front, his tousled auburn hair framing a sharp-jawed face with pale lightly-freckled skin and dominated by bright green eyes. He was skinny and had been teased for years for being a runt-but over the summer he had shot up four inches which had silenced the taunts of 'runt', though 'beanpole' and 'fishbone' were still frequently used. "Pantomime or panto is a type of musical comedy stage production designed for family entertainment. It was developed in England and is still performed throughout the United Kingdom, generally during the Christmas and New Year season. It includes songs, gags, slapstick comedy and dancing, employs gender-crossing actors and combines topical humour with a story loosely based on a well-known fairy tale, fable or folk tale."

"An excellent summary, Hiccup," Mr Mulch said cheerfully.

"What? We're going to be putting on some sort of childish play?" Astrid Hofferson asked sharply. The girl was focussed and determined, an outstanding soccer player and smart-though she had little time for activities that took time away from her sport and her studies. She was also very pretty with blonde hair braided over her left shoulder and brilliant sky-blue eyes.

"Yes-it will do you all good to work as a team in creating and presenting this pantomime at the Great Hall on Christmas Eve," Mr Mulch told them with a slightly forced smile. Ha had expected a lot more enthusiasm by now.

"Christmas Eve? But we'll all be with our families by then!" Snotlout protested.

"Some of us may want to go away…" Heather Bazerk added. She was a slim, pretty raven-haired girl with green eyes. She lived with her brother and they were due to visit distant relatives on Berserk Island..

"I have already written to your parents and they are aware that the Pantomime constitutes the Final for this class so your attendance is mandatory," the teacher said through gritted teeth. "So you will participate or fail. Understand?"

There was a monotonous grumble of 'Yes, Mr Mulch' from every student present. The teacher flashed his smile again and lifted a sheath of papers. "Good. because I have downloaded this script, modified it and already cast you."

"What?" Snotlout gaped, his blue eyes widening. The stocky young man had black hair and blue eyes and reckoned he was a hit with the ladies. "Don't we audition?"

"Everyone will have a part as I have cast it!" Mulch said firmly and handed out the scripts. "Okay-the pantomime we are doing is Cinderella. Is everyone familiar with the fairy tale?"

Everyone put their hands up except Astrid and Hiccup and the teacher rolled his eyes. Astrid opened her mouth to protest.

"Read the script!" he said, finally losing his patience. "Yes, Raquel?"

"Will there be destruction in this?" the girl asked. Angular, with a long face and three thick blonde braids, Raquel "Ruffnut' Thorston was half go the Thorston twins who were famed for creating the most chaos and mayhem in the history of Berk High. Her twin, Tommy 'Tuffnut' Thorston, who looked like a male version of her with his long blonde hair in dreadlocks, not braids, nodded.

"We're not taking part in something that doesn't blow…" He paused and swallowed his gum. "Things up…" he concluded, looking into the dropped jawed faces of the rest of the class. Mulch grinned.

"I see you're a natural," he said.

"What?"

"So-to the parts," Mulch said and checked his list. "Cinderella-Astrid Hofferson."

"What?" The blonde looked up and frowned.

"Astrid-you have the looks, the intelligence and the ability to take this part," Mulch reminded her. "Fairy Godmother-Cameron Bogson."

"What?"

"You'll do fine, Cameron," Mulch told her. "You are the narrator as well."

"What? I was planning on bunking off and…"

"Miss Bogson-may I remind you that your chosen College Course requires good English grades?" Mr Mulch reminded her sharply. She huffed and scolded as he looked back at his list. "Ugly sisters-Raquel and Tommy."

"Oh, come on-why am I always joined with my weedy girly brother?" Ruff complained.

"That's why," Snotlout smirked.

"Principal boy-Selena/Cedric is Heather Bazerk," Mulch continued.

"Why am I a boy?" Heather asked.

"Why aren't I principal male character?" Snotlout whined. "I'm clearly the most desirable male here!"

"I believe it is a pantomime staple ingredient that the 'principal boy' is always played by a girl since 'he' is usually in disguise either due to poverty or due to some other adverse social factor leading to hilarity and misunderstandings," Hiccup explained.

"Shut up, Hiccup," Snotlout muttered.

"Buttons the page-Gustav Larson!"

"Result!" the youngest class member whooped, his grinning face framed by spiky black hair.

"Arnold the Prince's courtier-Frederick Ingerman!"

Fishlegs-a large husky boy with a blond pudding bowl cut and blue-green eyes in his round, kindly face smiled.

"I'll do my best," he promised and began to flick through his script to familiarise himself with his role."

"Cook-the pantomime dame-Simon Jorgensen!"

"WHAT? No, no, no…you've done it all wrong…I'm the hero…" Snotlout was crawling on his knees towards the teacher, his hands clasped in a begging pose. "I can't play a woman!"

"Again, the pantomime dame is usually a humorous character obviously played by a man dressed as a woman, usually in hilariously over-the top costumes…" Hiccup offered.

"Shut UP, Hiccup!" Snotlout growled.

"I'm certain you will perform admirably, Mister Jorgensen," Mulch said with a broad grin. "The King-Timothy Carneby and the Prince-Erik Eretson!"

Erik (or Eret), a tall, very buff jock with his black hair pulled back into a ponytail and caramel eyes in his handsome face, smiled lazily as the equally buff and darkly handsome 'Thuggory' Carnaby fist-bumped him.

"I'm sure Cinderella will be drooling at the thought of riding away with me," he drawled lazily.

"Why you arrogant self-important smug…"

"Miss Hofferson! Control yourself…wait…is that burning I smell?" He spun around and saw Hiccup wearily pointing at the waste bin where the twins' scripts were flaming merrily. "You can copy this out in your own time by tomorrow!"

"WHAT?"

"TYRANT!"

"And the Stepmother will be played by Philippa Mortensen," Mulch concluded, looking over at the surly young woman who scowled. Philippa-or Phlegma-was a taciturn girl who spoke little and who rarely contributed to any debate.

"Oh, that isn't going to go well," Tuff commented.

"She's our _mother_? Thor, I'm putting myself up for adoption!" Ruff complained.

"Me too!" Tuff added.

"I'm not putting you up for adoption," she snarked back.

"Yes, you are…" Tuff retorted as the twins began shoving and wrestling.

"Okay-so all the parts have been allocated and…" Mulch began as he sighed. "Mr Carnaby, Mr Ingerman-can you separate them please?" There was a pause while the two prised the fighting twins apart and Hiccup raised his hand.

"Excuse me, Mr Mulch…but I don't have a part," he said, to sniggers.

"Maybe you could play a flagpole or a broomstick!" Eret sneered.

"Why would you get a part anyway? I didn't know there was a cripple in this play!" Thuggory sneered.

"Mr Carnaby-that will be enough!" Mulch said sternly and turned to the blushing Hiccup. "I'm sorry, Hiccup-there are no more parts. I can make you assistant producer. At least you will get some valuable experience from this class." Curling inside with shame and disappointment, the teen forced a smile that he didn't feel onto his face.

"Thank you, sir," he said dispiritedly.

oOo

Sitting at home after school, Hiccup dumped his bag by his desk in his room and then headed down for the kitchen, where his father was making himself a giant cup of coffee. Stephen 'Stoick' Haddock was a mountain of a man, close to seven feet, hard on four hundred pounds of muscle and sinew and the epitome of a Viking Chief-except he was born a thousand years too late. Now he was a former professional Football player, a lawyer and latterly the Mayor of Berk while raising his son with only the help of his best friend, Gordon 'Gobber' Belcher. As his cool green-grey eyes peering over his large nose and enormous flaming red braided beard, Stoick caught his son's expression and turned to him.

"How was school, son?" he asked gently as Hiccup shrugged.

"Fine, I guess," he said self-consciously.. He was the opposite of his father-lean, still tall but a little shy and sarcastic, his auburn hair and bright green eyes echoing his dead mother. The terrible car wreck that had killed Valka had cost Hiccup his leg and Stoick knew his son had been struggling in the three years since-especially since he had been teased for his disability daily by some of the more athletic and self-absorbed members of the class. Stoick cocked a very bushy eyebrow.

"Really? The sort of _fine_ that involves being suspended, expelled or given a year's worth of work to do in a week?" he asked dryly as Hiccup finally looked up and smiled.

"Not quite that bad, Dad," he admitted. "But English…well, we have to do this Pantomime thing…"

"Yes, I know," Stoick admitted with a smile. "Mr Mulch wrote to us all at the start of the Semester but ordered us to keep it quiet until he told you. So what part do you have, son?" Hiccup stared at his feet-well, foot and prosthetic-and blushed.

"I don't have one," he admitted quietly. Stoick frowned.

"Why?" Hiccup shrugged.

"There weren't enough and I guess they thought if someone needed to miss out I was the one," he said. "I mean it's not like I mind or anything…"

 _But you do,_ Stoick realised. _Very much. Because over the last three years, you've been left out and sidelined far too much for something that wasn't your fault and which you have never complained about or used as an excuse…_

"Ah," was what he said aloud.

"I mean, I'm the Assistant Producer so that should be good experience…and I can't really sing or act or dance and I would probably fall over and make you thoroughly ashamed of me and I probably would forget how to speak if I was acting opposite Astrid anyway…"

 _And that's another sore spot,_ Stoick realised, extracting another mug from the cupboard and spooning four large teaspoons of chocolate into the mug. _You're sweet on that girl and though she isn't mean or cruel to you like some of the others, she barely notices you exist._ He poured boiling water onto the powder and stirred away, before going to the fridge and finding cream which he whipped in.

"Marshmallow?" he asked.

"I mean why would they want me to be in any sort of play when all I am is an embarrassment," he continued. "I'm still a bit unsteady and I would probably trip over something and then…" Stoick rested a hand on his shoulder and looked into his son's desolate eyes.

"Son-you are the smartest student in that class and certainly one of the bravest people I know, going back to school and facing them when you were still learning how to walk and grieving for your mother," he said. "You will learn more out of this experience by not taking part in the pantomime than some of the students who just concentrate on learning their lines and acting. Because you will learn about leading your group, problem solving, dealing with adversity and all the other organisational and logistic issues that go into producing an entertainment."

"Yeah-theatre. Love it," Hiccup said sarcastically, accepting his chocolate and taking a long sip. His eyes widened in shock. "Thor-Dad, where did you learn to make this? It's amazing!"

"Gobber," Stoick admitted, sipping his own. "Mmm. That really is good." Hiccup smiled.

"Thanks, Dad," he said. Stoick smiled.

"I know things have been hard for you son-but I am sure this will work out differently to how you expect," he said. "Anything could happen between now and Christmas Eve. And I am believe that sometimes, the deserving get the rewards they sometimes least expect," he said. Hiccup shrugged.

"Personally, if I survive producing this pantomime, I'll be surprised."

-o0o-

 **A/N: Updates very other day to Christmas Eve.**


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO:**

The next day, the class assembled in Room 7, which was the practice room that Mr Mulch had booked out for them until Christmas. The teacher was there with Hiccup standing awkwardly by his side as the class unwillingly trailed into the room. Most of them sat in little clumps, ignoring the auburn haired teen as he faced them. Admittedly, he tended to be a little hunch-shouldered and self-conscious in his dark green hoodie and loose black jeans but Astrid noted his messy dark auburn hair framed his sharp-jawed face in a very cute way and his eyes were an intense, sparkling green. There were a few scattered freckles on his pale skin that intrigued her and she sat up straighter: she had never really looked at him closely before.

"Okay, class," Mr Mulch announced cheerfully. "I am going to leave Hiccup here as the Assistant Producer to lead most of the production. I am here to resolve disputes and if there are issues with you progressing properly. Otherwise-carry on, Mr Haddock!" And he stepped back. Looking self-conscious, Hiccup gestured to the class to pull their chairs up and reluctantly, they all formed a loose circle. He perched nervously on the edge of the seat and looked round his classmates, meeting a sea of unfriendly eyes.

"Has everyone got his or her script?" he asked. Astrid, Heather, Fishlegs, Phlegma, Gustav and Cami already had theirs out but there were various amounts of grumbling and groaning. The twins' hands shot into the air.

"We forgot ours," they said together, both grinning maliciously. Hiccup gave a small smile and fished out copies of the script with their names on and their parts highlighted.

"There you are," he said. "Don't lose them!"

"Hey-you can't tell us what to do!" Tuff snapped.

"Still here, Mr Thorston," Mulch reminded them from the back of the class and they both managed identical scowls before flicking through their scripts. Hiccup blushed.

"Um…okay…can everyone introduce themselves and describe their part?" he asked and looked round for someone who just might actually want to take part. "Ast…Heather?" he said, changing his mind and looking over at the raven-haired girl. She nodded.

"Hi," she began confidently. "I'm Heather and I'm playing Selina/Cedric. Selina is a girl, down on her luck who comes to the town seeking her fortune. As she has no money and no family, she dresses as young man and calls herself Cedric. She meets one of the Prince's courtiers and secures a place in his service. She tends to work alongside Arnold and secretly falls for him though, of course, she can't say anything about it until at the very end when she reveals she is a girl-and finds out that Arnold knew all along."

"Thanks, Heather," Hiccup said brightly. "Um…Astrid?" He hoped no one noticed that his voice wavered and ended almost an octave higher than usual. She looked up and he realised her script already had her part highlighted and there were notes all over the sheets.

"I am Astrid Hofferson and I am playing Cinderella," she announced. "My mother died when I was young and my father remarried. Now he has died and I have been reduced to a servant in my own home while my stepmother and her daughters treat me like dirt. I want to go to the Ball and marry the Prince. Sorry, this is the 21st Century…why can't I just go to the courts and demand my rights?"

Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck.

"This is set in the 18th Century and as a poor person, a minor and a woman, you have almost no rights," he told her. "I mean, you are feisty and spunky and sassy so you are as modern as you can be…"

"Why can't I dress like a man and win back my possessions like Heather's part?" she demanded.

"Because that's not what the part of Cinderella does," he said in a defeated voice. "I know that's not who you are, Astrid, but you need to be able to pretend you are someone other than you are to act and you have to convince others."

"How do you know who I am?" she demanded, fixing him with a gimlet stare and he blushed scarlet.

"Um…I have been in your class every day since Elementary School so I have plenty of observational evidence as to your essential characteristics and character…" he managed before she huffed and folded her eyes.

"That…makes sense," she conceded grudgingly. "Okay, I can do that. There is nothing I'm going to allow to defeat me!"

"While we're on the subject, can we object to our parts?" Ruff asked snarkily. "I mean, why do Tuff and I always have to act together?"

"The part is of siblings and you are siblings," Hiccup pointed out. "The sisters have a lot of repartee and quick fire dialogue and you two as brother and sister automatically have that rapport…"

"And I note the part description is of ' _Ugly_ Sisters'," Tuff grumbled. "I mean, that is so mean to poor Ruff. She can't help being homely…"

"What does that mean?" Gustav asked, looking puzzled.

"It's a polite way of saying that Ruff may be being typecast as an Ugly Sister," Thuggory commented.

"Hey! Not cool!" Tuff replied. "She can't help it…"

"And can I object to the depiction of blended families?" Heather piped up. "I mean, Dagur is my half-brother…as in our Dad remarried when his Mom died and I live with him since our parents died when I was fifteen…and I'm not sleeping among the ashes and being treated badly…"

"And can I comment my stepmom isn't anything like the abusive and controlling character of Anastasia that I'm playing!" Phlegma added. "And why would her daughters Gizelda and Mizerelda be so horrible?"

"Well said!" Ruff added as Hiccup's shoulders sagged.

"This is based on a well-know Fairy Tale so I suggest you complain to the long-dead person who wrote it!" he snarked. "Fishlegs?" There was a faint plea in his voice.

"I play Arnold, the Prince's courtier," he explained. "I meet and befriend Cedric and realise that he is a she…but I keep it to myself because I like her and don't want to get her into trouble. And I am very happy when she reveals herself in the end."

"I am the Prince, the male romantic lead," Eret said smugly. "I bag Cinderella. And looking forward to smooching her. I bet she's gagging to kiss me!"

Hiccup sighed as Astrid audibly growled. "You are not keen on marriage and your father has to force you to hold the Ball to find a bride. But you fall for Cinderella and travel all over the Kingdom to find her."

"What I said," Eret sneered at him as he shook his head.

"Not really at all," he sighed. "Thuggory?"

"I am the King and I need my son married so I order him to hold the Ball," he said. "Hardly worthy of my talents…but who else here is qualified?"

"Gustav?" Hiccup asked hopefully.

"I am Buttons the page," he said. "I work in Cinderella's house and am her friend. I have a secret crush on her but she only sees me as a friend. I help her and Cook run the house and we free Cinderella when the glass slipper is being tested."

"Can I object right now that I am having to play a woman?" Snotlout complained. "I mean I am an astonishingly buff and handsome guy and making me play a fat flustered comedy female is just wrong!"

"And the part?" Hiccup asked in a dejected voice.

"She's a late middle aged woman named Flossie Butterface who is the household cook and seems to get flustered all the time," Snotlout complained. "And she has about a million costume changes!"

"Cami?"

"Okay-I really object," she added in a firm voice. "I mean, I speak in rhyme which is so difficult to remember. And why am I in a flouncy outfit?"

"You're a Fairy Godmother," Hiccup reminded her.

"Why am I called Fay?"

" _Fay_ -ry Godmother. Gettit?" Hiccup tried.

"Lame," Cami condemned him. "I mean, what is my motivation? Why Cinderella? Why not the stepsisters who clearly need some serious coaching and mentoring about their obvious personality issues…?"

"Because it is!" Hiccup snapped, glaring at them all. "Look-this is the assignment. You all object to it. Fine. The person you want to moan at is sitting over there…" He looked back and saw that Mr Mulch had sneaked away. "And that happened. Look, you have your parts. You don't get a say. You have to perform the play as it is. And at least you get a part…"

"Poor Hiccy…not even in the play," Eret sneered.

"No-but you are so it's time we began a run-through," Hiccup said, feeling battered and bruised even though he had just been sitting in his seat. Everyone was so negative and they were all making out like it was his fault. He hadn't written the pantomime or chosen the story or allocated the parts-all he was doing was trying to produce the pantomime following guidance he had found out from reading several online texts on producing plays.

"Who votes this is lame?" Eret asked and every hand shot up. The twins put both their hands up.

"Good," Hiccup said absently. "Now grab your scripts and open on the first page. I will read out the stage directions. "Cami, Gustav-you're up first so have your scripts ready. Okay I…" And he sniffed. He could smell burning.

"Hiccup-our scripts are on fire again!" Tuff announced smugly. The auburn-haired teen looked up.

"I have another ten printed off, Tuff so you're just wasting your time," he announced sharply. "Now, if everyone has finished whining…Act One Scene One. A spotlight shines on Fay the Fairy Godmother…and over to you Cami…"

-o0o-

The next three read-throughs were no better with severe disruption, no one knowing their lines and arguments throughout. Hiccup struggled to keep them in line and was only able to do anything because Heather, Fishlegs, Astrid, Gustav and usually Cami-though reluctantly-would take part. Snotlout could never remember his lines and Eret and Thuggory spent the time baiting the others, hitting on Astrid and watching the twins plan their pranks.

Ruff and Tuff had decided that Hiccup had morphed into an authority figure and thus needed to have the Helheim pranked out of him. They started by gluing his locker closed, shrink-wrapping his car, encasing his coat in papier mache made of their scripts and leaving their patented itching powder in his gym kit and coat. Day after day, he warily tried to avoid their pranks but the twins, aided by Eret and Thuggory, mercilessly continued their campaign to persecute him. Until he finally sat alone in the practice room when no one turned up for practice at all and stared at the empty space, feeling an utter failure. Suddenly, his temper snapped and he gave a blood-curdling yell, grabbing the carefully clipped together scripts and throwing them around, tossing his bag across the room and throwing his chair for good measure.

"Wow-I don't think anyone knows you have that temper," Astrid said from the door, peering in.

"Well, no one bothers talking to me except to snark about Mr Mulch's choice of Pantomime and part allocation so how would they know?" he replied sarcastically. "No one is interested in this Odin-damned play so why should I bother?"

"I am because it counts to our grades," Astrid told him, asking in, her script grasped in her hands. "Sorry I was late. I needed to check with the coach about the travel arrangements for the next match."

He stared at her and then looked away, his eyes still flashing with anger.

"Well, no one else is here so what's the point?" he asked her despondently.

"Just because they are asses doesn't mean you and I should act like that," she told him primly. "And also…" And she stopped, causing him to turn round and inspect her, seeing her eyes carefully inspecting the floor and her cheeks warmed by a light blush. "I'm having problems with my lines and I wondered if…if you would go over them with me? Please?"

He paused and then he nodded.

"Um…I would be delighted," he said honestly. "I mean I can't imagine you of all people having issues with lines because you have a good memory and are very quick at everything you do but I am here to help any of you." She nodded and peeked up.

"Thanks," she admitted and helped him right his chair. He scurried around and tried to gather up the scripts but he was shocked to find Astrid helping him and his cheeks flared scarlet.

"Um…you don't have to," he mumbled. She smiled.

"I want to," she told him and sat next to him. Staring at her, he realised she was staring at him until he looked down at his script and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously.

"Act One Scene Two?" he asked and she nodded. "Okay, I'll read the other parts and cue you in. So…Buttons: ' _I wonder where Cinderella is?_ '" She got up and stomped in, holding her arms as if carrying in a load of kindling.

"Here I am," she read tonelessly. "Stepmother insisted that we have all the coal scuttles and kindling baskets filled before we spring clean the house…"

" _But it's December,_ " Hiccup read.

"As far as cleaning is concerned, it's always Spring," Astrid read briskly.

They continued through the scene until they reached the end and Astrid began to turn the pages to the next scene. Pausing, Hiccup stared at her and took his life in his hands.

"I think we need to go over that again," he suggested as she looked up.

"But we've done it," she argued as he sighed.

"Forgive me-but if I'm going over your lines with you, I should helping you," he said. "And that means…pointing out that you said those lines with all the enthusiasm and meaning of someone reading the telephone directory." She glared at him and folded her arms challengingly.

"Well how would you do it, genius?" she challenged him as he sighed. He looked at the first few lines.

"Well, let's imagine that Cinderella, the heroine of the Pantomime, is a cheerful, kind, generous girl who faces her reduced circumstances with a good heart and a smile. So… _Here I am! Stepmother insisted that we have all the coal scuttles and kindling baskets filled before we spring clean the house…_ "

"But it's _December,"_ Astrid protested.

"As far as cleaning is concerned, it's _always_ Spring," Hiccup told her. Then he paused. "You understand?" She nodded, chewing her lip.

"I have to imagine I am her and give the words their meaning," she conceded. "Your reading was much better. I believed it."

"And we want the audience to believe it as well," he told her gently. "I know you are smart and determined enough to become Cinderella."

"I would have punched the Stepmother by now," she admitted. He stared at her.

"Um…wow…should I be worried?" he asked her as she smiled.

"Nope," she told him, popping the 'p' smugly. "I only punch assholes-so you are safe."

"Thanks-I think," he mumbled. She smiled at him and flipped the page, her blue eyes trailing over his tall shape, tense with concentration and slightly frowning as he read the words.

"Okay-so can you tell me if I am getting this next bit properly?" she asked and he nodded.

"It would be my pleasure," he admitted. "Okay…' _That sounds awful'_ …"

-o0o-

"I don't want to bother you cuz and this is really embarrassing but…can I have a word?" Hiccup glanced around the library and checked that the twins weren't about to leap out and paint him green and then gestured to the seat opposite him at the table across his pile of books.

"Knock yourself out," he said noncommittally. Snotlout slumped down and carefully raised his hood so no one would recognise him. Hiccup sighed. "Snotlout-you are my cousin. You are _allowed_ to talk to me," he said in exasperation.

"That doesn't mean I should," he hissed, glancing from side to side. Urgently, he opened a large textbook on Calculus and ducked down behind it so no one could see him. "I mean, you are the least cool student in the entire school-and that includes all of the geeky Freshmen!"

"Thanks," Hiccup said sarcastically. "So what could someone like me _possibly_ do for you?" Snotlout completely missed the tone and shrugged.

"You gotta help me and persuade Mr Mulch to give me a proper part, a male part," he hissed. "I can't play a woman."

"You're gonna have to," Hiccup told him flatly. He had rehearsed the discussion so many times with every person in the class that he wasn't about to do it any more.

"But my Dad will go mad!" Snotlout hissed, his eyes frantic. "You know how he wants me to be butch and macho and buff and incredibly manly and this really doesn't fit the bill!"

"Uncle Spite's personal insecurities are his own problem," Hiccup snarked. "Not my concern."

"But he'll make my life miserable!" Snotlout argued.

"Well, you have made mine pretty miserable for years so why should I help you?" Hiccup asked him pointedly.

"You're my cousin and you're a good guy," Snotlout reminded him. "You gotta help."

"Why?" Hiccup repeated. "This will teach you some valuable lessons…"

"But I can't wear a dress!" Snotlout argued. "I mean…it's pretty cissy, isn't it? I'm a manly hunk of buff Vikingness and they can't possibly be seen in a dress…" Hiccup rubbed his forehead tiredly but an idea occurred to him.

"You know-it takes a real man to wear a dress," he said and sat back. There was a pause and Snotlout's brows dipped.

"What?" he asked, his eyes confused.

"You have to be in full contact with and comfortable with your masculinity to cross-dress," Hiccup told him. Snotlout scowled.

"Hey! Are you messing with my mind?" he said threateningly. "Because _nothing_ gets in here!"

"I hadn't noticed," Hiccup sassed.

"My Dad is all man and he would never wear a dress!" Snotlout hissed. His cousin smiled.

"Maybe not a full dress but Gobber and Dad found him in silk skivvies when they all went on a hunting trip a few years back," he revealed.

"You're lying!" Snotlout growled. Hiccup raised his hands in surrender.

"Whatever," he replied. "Your Dad can claim whatever he wants but I believe Gobber. I doesn't like your Dad enough to make anything up about him." Snotlout frowned and looked thoughtful.

"Really?" he asked and Hiccup nodded.

"Yup-he despises Uncle Spitelout," he confirmed. "And Dad was shocked about it…" There was a thud as Snotlout hit his head on the table, causing the Calculus book to fall on the floor. Hiccup helpfully leaned down, retrieved it and placed it back up on its side, shielding his cousin from view.

"Oh Thor," he sighed. And then he looked up. "You really think I can do it?" Hiccup sat forward and clasped his hands together.

"I think you are the only one who can," he said honestly. "I mean Thug and Eret are far too needy and insecure to ever play such an important part…" Snotlout straightened up a bit more.

"Really? How important?" he asked.

"You are literally the chief comic character," Hiccup explained. "And if you play it well, you are going to steal the entire show!"

"Really?" Snotlout's tone was incredibly hopeful now. "Okay…I'll show them all. I'll do it!" And then his face fell. "But I can't understand the first line." Hiccup frowned and glanced at the script he had in his Math workbook and frowned.

"Lawks a lordy! I'm all of a tizzy! Those sisters are the most ill-mannered, rude, mean people in the whole Kingdom of Berk!" he read and shrugged. "Seems obvious to me."

"But I mean…larks a lardy? I mean what does it mean?" Snotlout protested.

"Lawks a lordy," Hiccup corrected him. "I believe it is an old fashioned colloquialism from England meaning 'oh my goodness' or similar. It's meant to be humorous."

"It's insane. I mean, lords a lardy-how stupid is that?"

"Not half as stupid as you," Hiccup murmured under his breath but sighed. "It's all part of the character, Snot. And I have every faith that you will own that stage, once you embrace your feminine side…"

"But you said I had to be masculine to play this part," Snotlout argued. Hiccup rubbed his forehead again. He was definitely getting his headache.

"Only a truly masculine buff Viking could feel comfortable enough to unleash his feminine side to truly own this part," he explained with his fingers crossed. Snotlout looked thoughtful and then nodded.

"That makes sense," he conceded. "Okay…I'll do it. But…there are loads of lines…"

"Cook is the main comic character so she has a lot dialogue because she has all the puns and jokes," Hiccup explained. Snotlout sighed.

"I'm a complete muttonhead," he sighed. "Cuz-can you help me learn my lines?"

Hiccup gaped. Since they hit adolescence, his cousin had blanked him, teased him, bullied him and basically treated him like dirt. He once stated he would rather be buried alive than spend time with Hiccup-and yet here he was asking for Hiccup's help. And worse, Hiccup knew he would help Snotlout because he wanted the Pantomime to succeed and he had never been the person who was happy to watch people struggle. And of course, he had manipulated Snotlout into agreeing to play the part.

He nodded.

"So do you want to come round to my house or should I come round to yours?" he asked. Snotlout stared at him as if he had made an indecent suggestion.

"You can't come round mine-my Dad doesn't like you here," he reminded Hiccup. "In fact he wouldn't open the door. You remember last Christmas-your Dad had to threaten him to let you come in for Christmas lunch. Um…could I come round to yours? Uncle Stoick is always happy to see me and you know he makes really great hot chocolate…" Sighing, Hiccup sat back.

 _Oh great-now I have Snotlout coming round to get hot drinks and practice his lines,_ he thought. _What next? The twins dropping by for tea?_ But what he said aloud was 'That's fine. Four this afternoon?" Snotlout got up and nodded.

"That's great," he said. "Just don't say anything to anyone, okay?" Hiccup nodded.

"My lips are sealed," he murmured. _And who would believe me anyway?_


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE:**

"Okay, we're doing the Cook and Buttons scenes now," Hiccup announced as he looked across the unenthusiastic group. "You two are the main comic relief with the Panto Dame, Cook, being the principal comedy character. You are also the ones who drive the main audience participation." Astrid looked up.

"And just how do the audience participate?" she asked. Hiccup glanced at his notes.

"Part of the tradition of pantomime is that the audience are encouraged to join in," he explained. "They are asked to boo and hiss the villain-in this case the Stepmother, Anastasia; to respond to any statement of 'oh no you can't' by yelling 'oh yes you can!' and of course, shouting 'he's behind you!' when a character or prop is used to sneak up/trouble the comic characters."

"Seriously?" Thuggory asked lazily. "How childish!" Astrid cast him a sideways glance. She had been planning to say that as well but the truth was that Hiccup had worked very hard with her to get her part up to scratch and though he wasn't participating, he was a great actor and had brought her performance on no end. And when she thought about it, why not do something different? Working in a group to produce something from nothing was a good skill to develop and some of her fellow students still didn't grasp the other benefits this project would produce. In fact, she guessed that was why the Principal, Miss Queen had authorised it.

"It's tradition," she said firmly. "Maybe we should make cards to flip up or hang down to prompt the audience to join in, since they won't be familiar with the etiquette?" Hiccup smiled and for a brief instance, she felt her heart flutter at the gratitude in his eyes. "I'll sort that out, shall I?"

"Thank you so much!" he said genuinely. "Okay-positions. Act One, Scene Two: The kitchen. Buttons is sitting at the table."

"Hello everybody!" Gustav said, looking at the 'audience'. "I'm Buttons the page, handyman, cook's assistant, gardener, footman, general dogsbody and assistant rat catcher. Really, I should get seven wages. Instead, I get about half of one." He sighed. "This used to be a happy home…but when the Master died, everything went wrong. And wrongest of all is that his daughter became a servant instead of inheriting the house as her own." He sighed again. "And she is so lovely, so kind, so beautiful…I think she's wonderful but she doesn't see me like that. Maybe one day…" And then he looked up. "I wonder where Cinderella is?"

Astrid entered, smiling, miming carrying firewood.

"Her I am," she said cheerfully, resting down her firewood and walking over to smile at Buttons, making sure her back was never to the audience. "Stepmother insisted that we have all the coal scuttles and kindling baskets filled before we spring clean the house…"

"But it's December," Gustav protested.

"As far as cleaning is concerned, it's _always_ Spring," she sighed.

Hiccup watched, enthralled as Astrid's performance lit up the stage, completely convincing as the generous, kind-hearted Cinderella who helped Buttons with his tasks while acting as skivvy and drudge. Then Cook arrived.

"Licks a lily, I'm all of a tizzy! Those sisters are the most ill-mannered, rude, mean people in the whole Kingdom of Berk!" Snotlout announced in an astonishing high-pitched voice, He had padded his top out and he was bustling like a flustered middle-aged woman. Somehow, he had managed to use the top of a mop as his make-do wig which gave the most peculiar effect. Hiccup rolled his eyes. As they had worked together-in secret in Hiccup's basement studio-Snotlout had managed to learn his lines by acting them out and overall, Hiccup pleased with the results…except his cousin's total inability to get the first line.

"I think that's Lawks a Lordy," Gustav piped up.

"That's what I said. Loves a lardy."

"Lawks a Lordy," Astrid corrected him.

"Lacks a lolly."

"Lawks a lordy," Astrid insisted.

"Luck's a lady?"

"Close enough," Hiccup interrupted, envisaging them spending the entire afternoon trying to get Snotlout to say his opening line correctly. "Carry on…"

Watching, Hiccup was struck that once he went into character, Snotlout was surprisingly good as the Pantomime Dame, sparring easily with Gustav, who was ideal as the innocent and good-hearted Buttons. Snotlout turned to Gustav with an exasperated look on his face.

"I gave you a list of tasks, Buttons-and you only did the first one, the third one, the fifth one, the seventh one, the ninth one…why?" Gustav grinned.

"I'm an odd job man," he said. There were groans.

"This is all very silly," Eret sneered as Snotlout drew himself up.

"You're just jealous because you are just a straight man…and because you're going to have to mime to your song because you can't sing!" he retorted.

"Okay, okay-time for the song…" Hiccup said and tried to separate the two but Snotlout and Eret were squaring up to each other and when he tried to get between them, they both shoved him aside, slamming him into the table and landing him on the floor. Immediately, Fishlegs went forward the separate the two while Heather went to help Hiccup up. Wincing and rubbing his side, he managed to sit on the chair and get his breath back as Thuggory and Fishlegs hauled the two combatants apart. Astrid folded her arms.

"Have you two finished?" she snapped. "Some of us have things to do! Like the rehearsal?"

"Aw, c'mon-watching those two fighting is much more fun!" Ruff moaned.

"I vote for the fight as well," Cami added. "This is dull."

"And time's up," Phlegma added as the Final Bell rang. There was a pause and then everyone stampeded for the door, leaving Hiccup sitting winded at the table, staring at the mess. He could smell burning and-as expected-it was the twins' scripts burning in the waste paper basket. With a sigh he scrambled to his feet and wearily dumped the bottle of water he had brought with him onto the small fire, before he started to tidy the room up. There was a pause and then Astrid stuck her head round the door.

"Hiccup?" she asked and he looked up.

"Oh hi Astrid," he mumbled. "You were great today. I mean really great. And Snot was coming along. And Gustav's timing is improving…"

"Until Eret had to interfere," she huffed, helping him move the chairs back into position. "He's so pathetic and always has to be the centre of attention." Hiccup turned and winced, pain stabbing though his left knee. She started forward but he waved her back.

"It's okay," he murmured through gritted teeth. "I just get the odd twinge…"

 _Phantom pains,_ she thought. _I know amputees get them. And they can be quite severe…_

"I'll finish tidying up here," she offered. "You head home. You took a bit of a fall just now." He glanced up.

"I…I…" he murmured and she smiled.

"You're welcome," she said as he gathered his bags. He looked her in the eye.

"Thanks, Astrid," he said as he limped away. "I mean it." But as he rounded the corner, she frowned. It was time to put a stop to this-and tell the others a few home truths.

-o0o-

Fishlegs, Heather and Cami couldn't fail to notice that Hiccup had seemed to be getting more and more miserable as the days went by and eventually, they held a meeting in the canteen during study period with the rest of the group. Heather-the Class President-and Astrid-who was far and away the most aggressive and least patient person in Senior Year-made sure the whole of the English class was in attendance with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Eret warned he would only come if Astrid promised to have a coffee with him and she had grunted in response, knowing the jock would come because he had been chasing her for about two years with all the response of a brick wall.

Eventually they were all sitting at a table with a variety of sodas and snacks and looking bored.

"Okay-why are we here?" Thuggory asked without enthusiasm. He had practice after school and was wanting to get ahead with his homework before then.

"We need to talk about Hiccup Haddock," Heather began and there was an outbreak of snorts and various rude noises.

"Why are we wasting our time on that loser?" Eret sneered.

"Yeah-he's completely gone over to the dark side," Tuff added. "He's a traitor to all students…"

"No he's not," Fishlegs pointed out. "He's just doing what he was asked to do by Mr Mulch."

"Yeah-so now he's telling us what to do and that is seriously not cool," Ruff added.

"Ruff, Tuff-if this Pantomime is to ever happen, you need someone to run the rehearsals and make sure everyone actually pays attention," Heather pointed out.

"Yeah-but who made him in charge?" Tuff asked.

"Mr Mulch," Cami repeated, rolling her eyes. Though the twins were capable incredible insight, innovation and sheer brilliance, they were sometimes dense as lead and stubbornly bone-headed. "Look, the poor guy would much rather have an acting part but there weren't enough-and you all teased him about that."

"Well, there isn't a cripple in the cast so…" Eret sneered.

"He isn't a cripple!" Astrid snapped. "He's just a student who was involved in an accident. He gets on. He does everything we do. What is wrong with you?"

"He isn't in the play, is he?" Thuggory pointed out.

"Yes he is-as Producer," Snotlout piped up, frowning. "Which is the hardest part of the lot. He has to make sure we all turn up, he has to run the rehearsals, he helps people with their lines, I've seen him painting scenery and he's been working out the lighting. Somehow he's built a mechanical rat for the scene where Buttons and Cook try to catch the rat in the kitchen! I even think he's designed costumes. He's worked his ass off and you lot don't even turn up half the time. You don't learn your lines…"

"You don't either," Gustav pointed out.

"Oh lacks a lady! I'm all of a tizzy! Those sisters are the most ill-mannered, rude, mean people in the whole Kingdom of Berk!" Snotlout said with a smug expression. Gustav began to laugh.

"It's 'Lawks a lordy!'" he scoffed. Snotlout scowled.

"Hey! I know all of my other lines now-I just cannot get that line!" he protested. "Oh laxative…no, that's not it…"

"You know your lines?" Tuff scorned. "My sister and I destroy every copy of the script we're given."

"We've seen," Phlegma commented unexpectedly. She tended to watch and growl a few words-but she was leaning forward with a very scornful expression on her face. "Not sure how you think you're gonna pass this class if you turn up on Christmas Eve in front of your own parents, look like the muttonheads you are and get an F because you haven't bothered to do the work."

"You mean this is actually work?" Ruff asked with a frown.

"Yup," Astrid told her unsympathetically. "But you're a Senior now so you're expected to be able to self-motivate and work on a project without being told what to do all the time by a teacher."

"This…is a Project?" Tuff repeated.

"I seem to recall the words 'participate or fail'," Cami added smugly. "And the Pantomime is the English Final…" The twins shared a look.

"Why did no one tell us this?" they protested.

"I think Hiccup did," Fishlegs reminded them. "Every time you wrecked your script, argued during rehearsals or just disrupted the rehearsal, he tried to explain why this was important."

"And then you pranked him all the time," Astrid told them sharply. "Have you seen the poor guy recently? He's incredibly jumpy and looks really miserable. I know you've forced him to pay for a replacement lock on his locker six times already, you've scratched his car and he still prints you off new scripts for every rehearsal because out of all of us, he is the only person who seems to be an adult about this."

"Admittedly it was funny when you put that dye in his shower gel and he went green," Cami said with a small smirk-and then caught the look in Heather's eyes. "Not that it was much fun for him. At all. Nope. Everyone laughed at him. Every the nerdiest Freshmen. And half the teachers."

"Ah, great days," Ruff said with a nostalgic smile. "One of our more effective pranks-the Chartreuse Manoeuvre…"

"And you need to stop right now," Astrid told them firmly. They both looked offended.

"Why?" Tuff asked. "I mean, he's skinny and auburn and freckly and nerdy and down half a leg and…"

"And no one comments that you two are weird looking, dumb, spiteful, lazy, also skinny, frankly a bit smelly…do you want me to go on?" Astrid riposted. There was a frosty pause.

"While you, Missy, have some serious intolerance and anger management issues," Ruff replied stiffly.

"Oh stick a cork in it, Miss Stinky-Hair!" Astrid snapped. "And why did the rest of you idiots believe a group text from these muttonheads claiming the rehearsal had been called off? Like Hiccup would communicate with us through them? He runs away whenever he sees them outside of rehearsals!"

"Well, he couldn't text us because he doesn't have any of our numbers," Eret told her.

"Um-he's got mine," Fishlegs piped up. "If there was a cancellation, he would have told me."

"So why didn't you turn up, fatboy?" Thuggory sneered.

"Because I knew no one else would turn up after the text, you fatheaded narcissist!" Fishlegs retorted. Thuggory gaped. "Oh go and look it up you rock-headed whiner!" the husky boy added.

"Wow! Way to go, Fishy! Never thought you would have the backbone!" Ruff commented admiringly.

"Don't see why not-Fish _are_ vertebrates," he retorted.

"Touché," Cami added with a grin.

"Wait-you actually turned up after the text?" Gustav asked suddenly, looking at Astrid and she nodded without any self-consciousness.

"Of course-because anyone with half a brain could tell it was another not-at-all-funny prank from the twins which just disrupted our project and reduced our chances of getting a good grade," she announced scornfully. "I mean, how stupid are you all? This is a _school project._ We will be graded on the performance. I have been learning my lines and practicing hard because I want to pass. And I have decided I will make life very difficult for anyone who jeopardises my grades…" And she turned her baleful glare on the twins. They both cringed.

"Um…you know we could prank you, right?" Tuff suggested unwisely. Smiling sweetly, Astrid rose and walked round to stand between them, draping an arm around each of their shoulders.

"And you know I could crush you both like the bugs that you are?" she said in a very controlled, still sickly-sweet voice. "Any more pranks on Hiccup-or any pranks on me-or any disruption of rehearsals-or any more destroyed scripts…"

"Awww…" Ruff moaned.

"…and I will personally put you both in traction for the rest of Senior Year. ALL of it. Very _very_ painfully. And anyone else who decides to mess around, in case you were considering it," she concluded, raising her baleful glare to sweep the rest of the group. There was a collective gulp. "We have had this project for over a month and we haven't had a single proper run through. The performance is in less than three weeks and some of us haven't even read their scripts. No one has attended a proper rehearsal and actually paid attention and I am sure that Hiccup needs help with the costumes and sets."

"I can help with the lighting," Fishlegs volunteered.

"We can help with costumes and sets," Heather and Cami offered. Tuff looked offended.

"I am sorry but which of our sorry group of malfeasants and miscreants is touched by genius in the fields of fabric and furnishing?" he asked in a English Upper Class accent.

"No one," Heather said in an exasperated voice.

"You, Madame, are mistaken!" Tuff announced, rising to his feet and adopting an offended pose. "My sister and I have a longstanding interest in fabric, fashion and interior decor! So we shall offer our services in bringing the costumes to reality…"

"If you can catch Hiccup," Cami muttered. "While he's running away from you because he thinks you're about to prank him again…"

"I can trip him up for you," Eret offered. "Only need to knock one leg over."

"Um…what are you all doing here?"

Everyone looked up to see Hiccup standing awkwardly by the table, his bag over his shoulder and his weight slightly more on his right leg. _Because his left leg aches sometimes_ , Astrid thought to herself. His eyes were wary but there was also a defeated slump in his shoulders.

"Rehearsal was supposed to start twenty minutes ago which we had agreed because there is still so much to do-but it's okay because I'm on my way to Mr Mulch to quit. I don't care if I fail English anymore because honestly, I can't go on being the only one who cares about this Pantomime Project and being persecuted for doing what I was assigned to do. So you can all carry on-or not-because I no longer care."

And then he turned and walked away from the group before anyone could say anything. But there was suddenly a frenzied burst of activity as Astrid, Fishlegs and Snotlout grabbed their bags and raced after him. The others stared.

"What just happened?" Gustav asked.

"Congratulations," Heather snapped, gathering her things. "You got your wish-you made him quit!"

"What?" Ruff asked. "Just when we decided to be good and play along-now Hiccy quits? That's not fair!"

"But why has Astrid run off?" Eret asked.

"Hiccup was helping her with her lines," Heather revealed.

"And why did the Snotman go?" Tuff asked.

"Same," Cami added. Heather rose.

"And Fishlegs is his friend, before you thickheads ask," she said briskly. "Come on you idiots. We're all going after him…or do you want me to tell Astrid you didn't?"

There was the urgent scraping of chairs and sounds of things being hastily gathered up as they all headed out to race after the others.

-o0o-

Hiccup was halfway to Mr Mulch's when Astrid, Fishlegs and Snotlout caught him, stopping him by the tactic of actually roadblocking the corridor, which was the only way to get him to cease his retreat. He stared at them then sighed and shrugged.

"What?" he asked.

"Please don't quit," Astrid said in a rush. "Look-we were having a meeting to get the other muttonheads to knuckle down and start behaving like adults not kindergarten kids."

"Thanks but you needn't have bothered," he said dully. "I can't do it anymore. I don't want to spend my life worrying that my locker is glued up or the twins have put dye in my soap or itching powder in my clothes or whatever. It's not fun, it's not fair and I don't have to put up with it."

"It think that's why Astrid threatened to break every bone in their bodies if they didn't stop right now," Fishlegs told him.

There was a long moment when Hiccup disbelieved his ears. _Astrid threatened the twins to stop them picking on him? As in Astrid Hofferson?_ ** _The_** _Astrid Hofferson? The most beautiful girl in Berk High and the person he had been in love with for-forever?_ He stared at the husky boy and then looked over at Astrid, expecting her to laugh at him, for it to be a horrible cruel joke-and really secretly hoping that it wasn't. She shrugged.

"No biggie," she said in response to the silent question in his expressive green eyes. "I mean, I do mixed martial arts, boxing and karate in my spare time and have since I was about four so I could just pass it off as a minor training incident…" Exhaling in shock, he gave a small smile.

"Um…thanks. Really. I-I don't know what to say…" he mumbled.

"Say you'll stay on and be the Producer," Snotlout interrupted. "I mean you've really helped me get in touch with my inner deeply deeply deeply _deeply_ buried feminine side and gone over my lines with me."

"And me," Astrid added.

"And me," Fishlegs admitted and then looked at the others. "What? He's my best friend!"

"The point is-the others are going to stop messing around and some of them actually want to help…" Astrid told him, gently resting her hand on his arm.

"Even the twins," Snotlout added as Hiccup flinched.

"No," he said urgently. "Sorry but if they want to do anything it must be under the supervision of an actual grown up…"

"Such as me?" Astrid suggested with a smile.

"I would also take Heather and Fish," Hiccup admitted, still looking harried. "I had to shower twelve times to stop being green!"

"SURPRISE!" the twins yelled as they came up behind Hiccup and he jumped, giving a small scream. In a flash, he was hiding behind Astrid. Ruff and Tuff folded their arms and huffed.

"No gratitude," Ruff said in a disapproving voice. "No gratitude at all!"

"What have I got to be grateful for?" Hiccup asked, his head popping up from behind Astrid and Fishlegs. "You two have persecuted me for the last month and done nothing to help the Pantomime and the others at all."

"We've promised to be good now," Tuff told him.

"Only because Astrid threatened to put you in hospital!" Hiccup shot back.

"Someone has been talking-Miss Flappy mouth!" Ruff snarked.

"Shut up, Stinky Hair!" Astrid snapped back. "If you hadn't been so Godsdamned vicious and cruel, we wouldn't even be in this corridor persuading Hiccup not to quit!"

"Thor-how pathetic is he that he's hiding behind Astrid?" Thuggory sneered.

"You really should go for a much more manly specimen than this…reject!" Eret scoffed.

"He's got more courage than all of you put together!" she retorted. "Putting up with all of your crap. You have all acted like whinging First Graders rather than Seniors!"

"Oh come on-it was all a bit of fun…" Eret protested. "I mean the twins' pranks were really funny…"

"No, they really weren't!" Hiccup told him firmly.

"Shut up, limpy!" Eret scorned him. "All you need is to develop a sense of humour instead of being a whiny baby." There was a pause and Astrid shared a glance with Cami and they nodded.

"Then we dare you to prank Eret and Thuggory…" Cami said. There was a load slap as Hiccup face-palmed.

"Oh Thor," he groaned. "That's it…"

"But NOT at all during the rehearsals or in any way that interrupts the play," Astrid amended firmly, her eyes glinting with determination and the twins shared a look.

"Aha…a challenge worthy of our talents," Tuff said and glanced at the two buff jocks. "An enigma wrapped in a puzzle smothered in itching powder…"

"Challenge accepted!" Ruff translated.

Gustav looked around, mildly confused.

"So Hiccup is staying as Boss, right?" he asked.

"Yes, he is," Heather said firmly. "Hiccup, we have something we all want to say to you…don't we?"

There were a variety of sheepish looks as the gang shuffled their feet.

"Now!" Heather snapped and there was a collective sigh and Astrid clenched her fists.

"We're sorry, Hiccup," everyone said-even Astrid and Fishlegs who really didn't have anything to apologise for. "We are very sorry for how we behaved and we hope you will stay on as Producer."

Hiccup stared.

"Seriously?" he asked. "I mean are you serious?" They all nodded.

"Look, we know the twins were mean but they understand-finally-that it wasn't okay and they have agreed to work properly," Heather said honestly. "And the others have all agreed to stop messing around as well and all try to get this Pantomime up and running."

"We have just under three weeks until Christmas Eve and we haven't even gone through the whole thing yet," Hiccup said quietly. Astrid looked around.

"We will all stay after school today and run through it," she said. "The Practice Room is free." There was a pause as Thuggory shook his head.

"Eret and I have practice," he said and there was a collective groan.

"I'll read their parts while the rest of you run through the whole thing," Hiccup said, his voice a little more optimistic. "I mean if you still want to…" There were nods and smiles all round as the gang nodded and turned around, heading for the Practice Room. He looked over at Astrid.

"Thanks," he said. "I mean, I was on the brink of giving up and you…changed all that…" She smiled.

"Hiccup-you haven't given up on this-so I'm not about to either," she told him. "Besides, if you quit, who would I practice my lines with?" He blushed.

"I am always available to practice with," he said gallantly. She nudged him as they headed along.

"Good-because I am not quitting until this is perfect," she said and he found himself smiling.

"If you're in it, it will be."


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR:**

"How's it going, son?" Stoick poked his head round the door and looked into the basement studio that his son had created since the loss of his wife. Hiccup still had his bedroom upstairs but after the accident, he had initially found the stairs difficult so Stoick had made the basement-which had a small elevator to ground level-a temporary bedroom and living area. Artistic and skilled as a painter, photographer, sculptor and tinkerer, Hiccup used the space for his projects-and latterly, for his coaching sessions for various cast members of the pantomime. To one side, a vintage Harley Davidson was in the process of being rebuilt, several paintings were hung on the wall as well as his dead mother's photographic equipment and a framed selection of her work-mainly images of the happy family they had been before the impact that ripped them apart.

Hiccup looked up from the workbench, apparently unscrewing a component from the centre of a plush rat. He frowned, picked out a piece of fluff and sighed.

"Great, Dad-it's going just great," he said unenthusiastically. Stoick walked forward with a home-made strawberry shake, the plump pieces of fresh strawberry suspended in the thick ice-creamy treat. He rested the drink by his son, along with a plate of home-made cinnamon and apple star-shaped cookies.

"The type of 'great' that's about a twentieth of an inch from 'utter catastrophe'?" he asked wisely, perching on a reinforced stool. Hiccup sighed.

"Not quite that bad," he admitted, absently taking a still-warm cookie and munching away with a sigh. "Half an inch at least. Hey-these are great, Dad," he said gratefully. Stoick nodded.

"New recipe I got from Gobber," Stoick admitted. "So what's worrying you?"

"Worried? Me?" Hiccup asked quickly, an almost guilty look in his eyes. "I'm fine, Dad. And you have far more important…"

"Nothing's more important than my son," Stoick reminded him sternly. "And said son is absolutely incapable of hiding his emotions…" Hiccup gave an embarrassed laugh and rubbed the back of his neck.

"You noticed?" he mumbled. "Um…sorry…" Stoick took a cookie and bit into it thoughtfully.

"Nothing to be sorry about, son," he said. "But I hate seeing you concerned. Anything I can do to help?" Hiccup sipped his milkshake and sighed.

"Not really," he explained. "I mean, the cast are at least all trying…mostly…"

"Have they stopped playing pranks on you?" Stoick asked and Hiccup nodded.

"Um…Astrid saw to that," he confessed.

"I was very worried when you came home bright green," his father confessed, munching away. "Astrid, you say. I know you've been going round to her house recently…" Hiccup face-palmed. _Trust his Dad to put two and two together and make grand babies!_

"I've been helping her with her lines and her acting," he explained. Stoick winked.

"But she asked _you_ to help her," he reminded his son.

"Oh Thor…" Hiccup groaned. "Have you been talking to Gobber?" Stoick grinned.

"Stranger things have happened," he reminded his son. "Have I told you that your Mom and I got together when we had to do a Biology Project looking at worms and lice?" Hiccup rolled his eyes.

"Bleurgh! And yes…about a hundred times…" he replied sarcastically. "I usually end up wanting to take a shower after you tell me all the details. Bleurgh! Honestly, Dad-we're just friends…"

"But you do like her," his father stated. "Maybe you might want to tell her? Or show her? Or ask her out?"

"Agh! And no," Hiccup gabbled urgently. "Look, Dad-Astrid is an amazing, beautiful, smart woman and she is so totally out of my league I should probably be locked up for even thinking about that! I mean, she is being chased by the School Quarterback and was being pursued by Snot before that…"

"And she's not going out with either of them, is she?" his father guessed wisely. "Meaning those aren't the people she's interested in." He frowned. "And why are you operating on a plush rat?"

"Prop for the humorous rat-chasing scene in Cinderella," he explained. "Dad-I don't think she's interested in anyone. At all." Stoick reached over and patted his son on the shoulder.

"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you in the way that you have responded to not being in the pantomime?" he asked gently. "You have been incredibly organised, dedicated, brave and determined. And those are qualities that any father should be proud of in his son. Carnaby and Eretson have been crowing about their boys' parts in the play-but I guess they are the least engaged and most lazy of your cast?" Hiccup's eyes widened. "I know the sort-entitled and unwilling to work for anything. They expect everything given to them on a plate."

"Yeah-if I could carry them onto set, they'd have me do it," Hiccup grumbled as his father chuckled.

"And I'll wager that their lack of contribution will be recognised by Mr Mulch and Miss Queen just as your excellent work will be," he reassured his son. "Mr Mulch has already called me to say how impressed he has been with you." Looking up, Hiccup felt his heart leap at the unexpected praise.

"Really?" he asked and Stoick nodded.

"Now will you ask that girl out?" he asked. "I'm sure she's just waiting for you to…" But Hiccup shook his head.

"Dad-sometimes, it's better to hang onto an impossible dream than accept hopeless reality," he said. His father sighed at the stubborn reply and sat back as Hiccup proceeded to deftly and intuitively reassemble the motorised rodent.

 _Oh son,_ he thought. _I have seen the way that lass looked at you when she came round here last week for practice-and she has feelings for you as well. I just wish you believed in yourself the way I believe in you._

-o0o-

The class were all gathered in the assembly room for another practice, scripts out and moaning that they would never know their words. Snotlout was still struggling to learn his first line and the twins were punching each other. The door slammed open and Astrid stormed in, her face like thunder and she marched directly up to Eret, glaring at him.

"Hiya, Babe," he smirked. "How's my beautiful…?"

"You total slime!" Astrid snapped. "How dare you?"

"What?" Snotlout asked, looking up from his script.

"This arrogant ass has changed his Berkbook status to 'in a relationship with Astrid Hofferson'. Which he isn't. And is never going to be!"

"Babe-you know when you _finally_ agree to practice kissing with me for the final scene, you'll never want to be with another guy and you'll be begging to be my girlfriend," Eret commented lazily. "I am simply the best!"

"What?" Snotlout's outraged yell echoed through the room. Even though he knew he stood precisely no chance with Astrid-having chased her in Freshman and Sophomore Years-Snotlout still clung to the fantasy that he was the most desirable male in the School.

"No, you're not," Astrid snapped, marching up to him, her fists balled. "You're an arrogant, self-absorbed, vain imbecile and you are the last person I would ever go out with. Honestly, I would rather go out with Hiccup Haddock than you! I…"

There was a sharp intake of breath and through her rage, Astrid saw everyone staring past her. "And he's behind me, isn't she?" She turned-to see Hiccup standing a few feet inside the room, his face completely bloodless and his eyes filled with a broken look. Guilt speared Astrid and she took a pace forward, her hand extended. "Hiccup-I didn't mean it like that. I wanted to say…"

He turned away- _unevenly because he's still slightly unsteady on his prosthetic on tight turns_ , she thought automatically-and he almost ran through the door, the slam echoing through the silent room.

"What was that?" Cami asked.

"Hiccup has always liked Astrid," Fishlegs revealed quietly.

"But he never says anything," Astrid murmured.

"Because he knows everyone will laugh at him and you all just tolerate him," the husky boy said firmly. "Pretty much all of you were horrible to him when he was in the accident and there isn't a day when you don't tease him about the leg!"

"Aw, c'mon…it's really funny and I'm sure he knows it a joke," Thuggory protested smugly.

"You try putting up with it every day when the leg-or the fact you lost it-reminds you of the horrible accident where your Mom died and you almost did," Fishlegs snapped. No one had ever heard him this annoyed before and the twins were looking thoughtful. "I mean he kind of expects these two chuckleheads or the twins or Snot or even Heather and Cami to be thoughtless or just plain cruel. But you…he really likes you. And you had never said anything mean to him. Until now." Fishlegs took a step towards the shocked Astrid. "Congratulations. You've joined that club as well."

"But I didn't…" she protested.

"Yes, you did," Fishlegs told her. She glared at him and turned back to Eret.

"I would rather go out with Hiccup Haddock than you!" she repeated, her voice filled with anger.

"And where is your hop-along boyfriend, hmm?" Eret sneered. "Run away?"

"And you know why I would rather go out with Hiccup Haddock that you?" she snapped. "Because Hiccup is a decent guy. He's kind, generous, smart, sassy, cute, funny and actually listens when you talk. He asks, doesn't tell. And he is worth a hundred of all of you!"

"When he's actually only about 90% of a person," Eret scoffed. Astrid glared and balled her fist to a sharp intake of breath from Heather, Cami Ruff and Tuff. Eret chuckled patronisingly as Astrid pulled her arm back and unleashed a right cross that a professional boxer would envy. Eret staggered back a few steps, his eyes crossed-and then he went down like a felled tree.

Astrid grabbed her bag in the completely silent room and ran for the door, sprinting down the Hallway in pursuit of Hiccup. But she reached the front of the school and burst through the main doors, still not having caught him up and as she watched, Hiccup's car-a black SUV-pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the road. Astrid ran to her light blue Porsche and floored it, speeding after him. It was mid-afternoon and the traffic was light so she was able to keep him in sight as he manoeuvred through the traffic and onto the main highway out of town up to Raven Point and then north of the island. Hands tight on the steering wheel, Astrid followed up onto the Pass and onto the highest part of the road, where it zig-zagged round rocky cliffs and by sheer drops until she saw him pull into an outlook on a sharp bend, the triple reinforced metal railings and the simple granite cross telling her everything she needed to know. She pulled in and killed the engine a few yards from Hiccup's car as she saw him clamber out.

His shoulders were slumped and the breeze riffled his messy auburn hair as he walked slightly unevenly to the rail, staring out over the sheer drop. Cautiously, she climbed out of the car and walked quietly towards him. He swallowed as he heard her approach and she could see him tense. Suddenly, 'sorry' seemed inadequate.

"Is this where…?" she asked him and he nodded. He was still pale, the few freckles dark against his skin and his expression was very hurt and unhappy, making her guilt stab her even more painfully. If she could have taken back her words-or at least the way she said them-she would have. But being Hiccup, he didn't tell her to get lost or refuse to talk about it: he answered her honestly.

"We were coming up from town to see Mom's Grandmother, Gothi, for Mother's Day," he explained. "Dad was working and was going to join us later. We reached the corner and this truck came straight at us. It didn't even try to make the turn and slammed straight into the car, hitting Mom head on." He chewed his lip. "I heard her say 'Hiccup'…and then there was just the crunching and screaming of metal and we were slammed sidewards. Mom was killed on impact and the car was rammed straight through the rails and over the drop. We flipped and the car landed onto that rock there…"

He gestured and she peered over the drop. Forty feet below, there was a huge grey granite rock still with scrapes and paint on the surface, even after two Berkian winters.

"Wow," she murmured. "It's a miracle you survived."

He nodded.

"I was trapped, my leg crushed and I was badly injured," he said. "The truck was hanging over the drop and if it fell, it would have landed on us and killed me as well. Turns out the driver had suffered a heart attack and he died in his cab before the first responders could make it. But there was a skinny black dog, a stray, that came to the car. Thor only knows how he scrambled down but he nuzzled me and dragged my bag from that bush over there, where it had fallen. Thanks to him, I-I was able to get my phone and call 9-1-1. And the dog then licked me and raced up to the edge, waiting for the police and ambulances."

"That's…amazing…" she murmured.

"He waited outside the hospital while I was inside," he said thickly. "Everyone assumed he was my dog-and when I saw him as I was wheeled out, down a leg and a mother, he barked and came up to me, all waggy and happy to see me and I just started crying like a girl…"

"Hey!"

"Sorry," he mumbled. "And he just licked me and Dad took him home with us. He's still with me-I call him Toothless because he's missing half his teeth. He saved my life because I would have died if I hadn't been found when I was. But I still see that moment…and I see Mom turn to me and see her lips moving. And I-I was her last word…"

Tears were sliding down his cheeks and though he tried to turn away, he found himself wrapped in her arms, squeezing him strongly and as he buried his face in her neck and held her tightly, she realised that this was what he needed. And why she hadn't realised what he had gone through before.

 _I was so obsessed with my own life, my own goals that I didn't stop and look up,_ she realised. _And Hiccup was always there, the smart and sassy guy who had that horrible accident at the end of Freshman Year but came back to school at the start of Sophomore Year and carried on like nothing had happened. But it had and he was mercilessly teased for it. And he never complained and always helped anyone who needed it. And working with him in the project has just shown me he is the best person in our class._

She glanced over the hideous drop and wondered what would have happened if that lorry had dropped, if the dog hadn't helped him…if he hadn't made it.

 _My life would have been worse,_ she realised. _I think all of ours would have been. I know he's helped Cami and Fish in the past. He always contributes. And this Pantomime would be a disaster without him. But more…he's the only person I know who is worth going out with! I wish I hadn't said what I said…in that way. But he deserves to know the truth._

She stroked his hair and felt him shudder.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I never meant you to feel bad. And you never let me finish." He sniffed and looked up as she reached up and wiped his cheek with her thumb.

"I would rather go out with Hiccup Haddock," she repeated. "Because he's smart and sassy and funny and brave. He's generous and kind. He helped me with my words-not just learning them but practicing them and learning to act them to the best of my ability. He managed to persuade everyone to do their parts. He's really disappointed at not being in the pantomime but he's thrown himself into making sure it's a success anyway, even though he won't be on stage. And he endures the most awful taunts when anyone else would have gone crazy and possibly shot half the class or stormed out and left the town…"

"No chance of that with Dad being Mayor," he mumbled.

"And you never mention that either," she reminded him. "Eret and Thuggory make sure everyone knows their Dads are on the Town Council but never you."

"But that would just be lame and pathetic, asking people to notice you or like you because of who your father is, not who _you_ are," he said more firmly. She rested her hand on his cheek.

"And yet you are the only person who really understands that," she admitted softly. "And it's taken me far too long to realise that. You were just that really smart sarcastic guy who always sat at the front and who always just beat me in class order, no matter how hard I tried. I was so focussed on beating your marks, I never had time to get to know you. Until we did this project and I realised what an extraordinary person you actually are."

"And this isn't some cunning masterplan to sabotage my marks?" he asked her and her eyebrows rose as he sniffed and palmed his cheek.

"Damn, my super-cunning masterplan has been tumbled once more…" she smirked. He pulled back and sighed. "So will you?"

"Um…what?" he asked her.

"Will you go out with me?" she asked him.

He stared.

"What…like as in a girlfriend?" he managed.

"Well, I would be the girlfriend and you would be the boyfriend, I think, not the other way round and…you're not gay are you?" she suddenly asked and he blushed.

"Um…definitely not…" he gabbled. "I mean I like girls and I…you…I mean…girlfriend?" She smiled.

"That's what I was asking…" she said kindly. "I mean, you can say no…"

"No! I mean yes. Yes. Definitely yes."

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes," he said and then he smiled. "Yes…" She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"I thought you were never going to ask me," she explained. "And I have been trying to figure out a way…"

"Um…announcing to Eret how even I was better than him possibly wasn't it," he admitted.

"I never said even," she reminded him.

"I think my mind put it in," he admitted. She gently punched his shoulder.

"Muttonhead," she said with a roll of the eyes. "Look-I know you lack confidence and to be honest, most of the class have been horrible to you-but you have me now. As well as Fish."

"And Cami…intermittently," Hiccup admitted. "When she's not mad at me for something I have no clue about…" And then he looked down into her eyes. "So…what do we do now?" She checked her watch.

"Well, school is out now so I am sure the others will be texting me soon about what's happened…so shall we go back to my place and maybe…hang?" He looked self-conscious.

"I mean, if you wanted to spend time with your friends…" he mumbled.

"I want to spend time with _you_ ," she told him firmly. "I mean, if you want to…because you're my friend and I really want to get to know you better. And maybe…try some lines together?" Hearing the faintest uncertainty in her otherwise very certain voice, he smirked.

"Lines? That's where you're going?" he teased her and her eyes widened.

"And that is the sassy guy I've come to love," she told him teasingly. He blushed.

"Um…well, I have been in love with you for years," he admitted as she smiled up to him and took this hand in hers.

"Good man," she told him. "Let's go over to my house and you can tell me everything I don't know about you…" He grinned.

"Well, that should take maybe a minute so we will need to find something else to do for the rest of the time," he deadpanned.

"I'm sure I can think of something," she shot back as they headed for their cars.

"Oh Thor…" he mumbled as he blushed fiercely. "Gobber would never believe this…and I cannot tell Dad about this…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. "Milady."


	5. Chapter 5

**FIVE:**

"I am very disappointed to be having this discussion with you, Miss Hofferson." Principal Mala Queen's voice was cool as she inspected the girl standing opposite her. Mala was a tall woman with a strawberry blonde page cut and cool green eyes. Unflappable and serene, she was perfectly capable of making her displeasure known without ever raising her voice and Astrid folded her arms, her eyes hardening.

"Why, Principal Queen?" she asked directly. The Principal sat back down and gestured to the seat. Stubbornly, Astrid remained standing as the older woman clasped her hands together.

"You did assault a fellow student," the Principal pointed out, her tone a little cold. "And Mr Eretson's father has made point of phoning me in person to complain about the assault and demand that disciplinary action is taken against you." Astrid's eyes widened.

"What?" she gasped. "That arrogant ass has been harassing me for two years! He has made inappropriate comments about me, has infringed my personal space, has tried to kiss me against my wishes and has even spread lies by changing his social media profile to say we are in a relationship-which we aren't!"

"Nevertheless, none of these frustrations can excuse a cold-blooded assault…"

"It wasn't!" Astrid snapped. "It was very much provoked! He changed his Berkbook to say we were in a relationship-so anyone could see that. And it was lies! And when I challenged him about it, he laughed and just said I would want to when I kissed him-which I am never going to do! He's hit on all the other females in the cast. He is disruptive and spend the entire time making snarky comments and interrupting the rehearsals. He doesn't know his part yet-and there is less than a week to go to the actual performance. He won't do anything that he's told or asked to do by Hiccup Haddock, who is our producer and he's vile to Hiccup!"

"So what happened?" Mala asked her sternly. Astrid sighed and finally sat down.

"He lied about us being in a relationship which was horrible," Astrid said. "It was so insulting and untrue and-and embarrassing. As if I would ever give him he time of day! He's selfish and lazy and completely self-absorbed and cruel. And he was horrible about Hiccup. I mean he and Thuggory make some snarky comment about Hiccup's leg every single day. They call him a 'cripple' and have been vile to him because there wasn't a part for him in the Pantomime, even though Hiccup is the only reason why there is a Pantomime, because no one else could have got it as close to being ready as him. And I snapped when Eret called Hiccup, who is smart and kind and hardworking and supportive and generous, when he called him 90% of a person. I punched him because he deserved it."

Mala steepled her fingers.

"That is a different tale to the one Mr Eretson told," she commented. "In his version, his son was innocently sitting with his friends and you came up to him, yelled at him and attacked him without provocation!" Astrid's eyes widened and she gave a shocked gasp.

"That is an utter lie!" she replied hotly. "Ask anyone!" There was a pause and Mala nodded.

"I have already asked for another student's input," she said and there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" she called and the door opened-to reveal the very self-conscious shape of Hiccup. His eyes widened as he saw the shape of Astrid sitting in the chair and he paused at the door. "Come in, Hiccup," Mala invited him. "I need your help."

"Yes, Principal Queen?" he asked, closing the door behind him. "Anything I can do to help." Mala beckoned him closer.

"Can I ask you a question about Erik Eretson?" she asked as Hiccup stiffened, snatching a quick glance at Astrid. He could guess what the interview was about. He nodded. "You are aware that Miss Hofferson assaulted him yesterday?" He swallowed.

"Um…I knew she punched him but since he has been involved in at least two fracases with Snotlout, sorry Simon, before, I didn't think anything of it…" he mumbled. The Principal frowned.

"What happened?" she asked. Hiccup sighed.

"I missed the actual punch," he confessed honestly. "Look, I overheard Astrid say something that I misinterpreted and I just left." Mala frowned and leaned forward and Astrid's shoulders hunched.

"I wasn't aware that Miss Hofferson was bullying you as well," she said. His eyes flicked up.

"I'm sorry but that's not true!" he said more firmly. "Thuggory and Eret are insulting and cruel every day. And have been for the last three years since my accident. The twins have been cruel as well, also teasing me about 'the leg'! And let's not forget they have spent the last month playing a variety of cruel jokes, involving damaging my property and turning me green!" Mala stared in shock. "But Astrid said one thing I misinterpreted because she was angry and I ran off. And she came after me and we talked. She apologised for any misunderstanding and she asked me out. And I said…well, yeah…" The Principal frowned.

"So Eret wasn't sitting quietly?" she checked. He shook his head.

"Astrid was furious and he was teasing her about not being able to resist him when she had to kiss him in the Panto-not that she ever had. She keeps refusing." He thumbed his phone open and displayed a page to the Principal. "Look-he's still got himself described as 'in a relationship with Astrid Hofferson' which we all know is rubbish. She _hates_ him. And she has suffered being pestered and harassed by him for the last two _years_. Everyone has their breaking point." The Principal sighed and nodded.

"I guessed as much," she said. "I asked Mr Mulch how Erik and Astrid had engaged with the Project and his report tallies with yours-and completely disagrees with the report of the boy's father." Then she leaned forward. "Has he actually called you '90% of a person'?" she asked sternly. Hiccup gulped and ashamedly nodded.

"Um…quite often," he admitted. "I think he thinks he's being clever…"

"Not even close," Astrid muttered, her hands clasped in her lap. Hiccup walked forward and crouched by her, taking her hand.

"You okay?" he whispered and she looked up at him, a small smile lifting her lips.

"I'm fine-thanks, Babe," she murmured as the Principal watched. She nodded.

"I think it's clear that Mr Eretson has been more than economical with the truth," she determined. "You did hit him and for that, you will serve one hour's detention this evening, Miss Hofferson." She looked up and nodded as Hiccup opened his mouth to protest. "And Mr Eretson will serve a week of detention-every evening until the Pantomime-for his conduct towards you both and for trying to manipulate me to penalise you, Astrid, while taking no responsibility for his own behaviour." She nodded. "You may go."

Silently, the two teens walked out of her office and Hiccup twined his hand with hers.

"Sorry," he said as soon as the door closed behind them. "I-I couldn't lie to her…even to protect you…" She smiled.

"I never expected or wanted you to," she assured him. "But you were awesome, Babe. You told her what had been going on…and I know you don't like to talk about it…to appear like a victim or anything…but if no one speaks up, they just get away with it…" He nodded.

"I mean, he will fight with Snot and Thug and Tuff and Ruff and never say a word but when you punch him out, he's all Mr Victim…" Hiccup said animatedly. "I mean he loves to dish it out but he hates being on the receiving end…"

"Well, I found out from Heather that he was less than happy because the twins put itching powder in his jockstrap," Astrid told him. "I mean, he was late as usual and as soon as he arrived they were just starting the game and he had to run back off the field and go and shower…the Coach was very pissed at him…" Hiccup couldn't help himself from smiling.

"Wow-now he knows what it's like to walk in my shoes…shoe…" he said and then face-palmed. "Thor-they've got me doing it now…" She slid her arm through his.

"And you've got me on your side as well," she reminded him. "And no matter what happens, what those muttonheads say, you'll always have me." He stopped and stared into her eyes.

"Thanks, Milady," he said. "Now all I have to do is survive Dress Rehearsal today…"

-o0o-

Dress Rehearsal was awkward because Eret and Thuggory were teasing Hiccup mercilessly about running off like a pathetic kid and the auburn-haired teen had needed to cast a quick glance to Astrid to stop her jumping up, yelling at the two self-absorbed jocks and decking one or both of them and getting into more trouble. Certainly, they both looked the part and looked suitably smug in their crowns and elegant 18th Century outfits with silk shirts, satin waistcoats, rich velvet frock coats, deep blue breeches and leather boots. Astrid was grumpily stomping around in her ragged dress and flat ballet pumps, casting menacing glares at Eret, whose badly bruised and swollen jaw was concealed under a very thick layer of greasepaint. The twins looked basically like themselves in violent orange and green sequinned dresses and Cami was the only fairy godmother in denim dungarees, having refused to wear the pale blue gauzy tulle dress that had been designed for the part. Heather was making an excellent principal boy and played her dual part with aplomb.

Snotlout, however, was moaning non-stop.

"I can't get my breasts in the right place," he complained, arriving with his improbably overstuffed chest lopsided. Hiccup sighed, massaging his forehead and feeling a headache coming on as he stared at the short ridiculously over-padded shape in the garish pink and yellow striped frock.

"What have you put in there?" he asked in a tired voice.

"Two sweatshirts on each side," Snotlout reported. "I still think they're a little small…"

"Great Odin-if they are any larger, you'll fall over!" Hiccup snapped. "Take one out of each side. Now!"

"Tyrant!" Snotlout grumbled. "Tuff-can you help me with my wig?"

"I know what Hiccup can play," Eret suggested cruelly. "The pumpkin. It starts out inanimate, is briefly useful and then gets smashed. Even you should manage that!"

"Already has," Thuggory added.

"Oh, why don't you try playing the part of a human being? Oh sorry-you can't because you're a selfish cruel ass!" Astrid snarked. Eret gave a smug smile.

"Don't worry, baby-you can't fight your attraction much longer," he taunted her. "Just wait until we practice the kiss…"

"Can't I break his jaw, Hiccup? _Please?_ Or his nose at least? I'll even take a limb…"

Tempting though it was-especially when Astrid turned her big blue eyes on him pleadingly-Hiccup shook his head.

"Can we please start the rehearsal," he said in a firm tone. "And no, I can't let you hospitalise Eret before the actual performance."

"Aww…"

"Ha! You know you're gonna realise your mistake when…"

"I reserve my right to change my mind," Hiccup announced. "Positions, everyone."

"Tuff-do you think I need more rouge?"

"That means you, Snotlout!"

Finally, everyone got off the stage except Gustav, who was sitting at the kitchen table, chewing gum.

"And…ACTION!" Hiccup called.

Gustav looked up, eyes wide and tried to open his mouth as Cami prepared to come on and begin the opening narration.

"Mmm mm mm!" he tried, his teeth gummed together. He looked alarmed and then tried again. There were giggles and the twins high-fived as Cami played her hands on her hips and glared.

"What have you muttonheads done?" Snotlout growled, finishing applying far too much mascara.

"Superglue gum," Ruff sniggered. "Our newest invention!"

"WHAT?"

"As my twin sister so eloquently put, we have been utilising our chemical knowledge in innovating new products for the discerning trickster," Tuff explained happily. "Superglue gum is the latest off the Thorston idea farm…" Hiccup walked up to Gustav, who was frantically trying to ungum his teeth.

"Ruff, Tuff…is there a solvent or something you can use to dissolve the gum and release him?" he asked seriously. The twins shared a look.

"Um…never got round to that bit," Tuff admitted.

"Oh Thor…" Hiccup groaned. "Gustav-you need to take yourself to the school nurse…and probably the ER."

"Mmm mmm mm?"

"You'll have to write down what happened," Hiccup said firmly. "Look-we need to run through today because the performance is in three days and we have never managed a complete run-through!"

"Well, you're supposed to be running this thing so whose fault is that?" Thuggory sneered.

"All of ours!" Hiccup snapped. "Look, I am doing my job. I am happy to help you with your costumes and make-up. I have prompted every single one of you. I have single-handedly painted the sets and made sure that everything works. I do the lights along with Fish. I helped you learn your lines. I even made a mechanical rat for the slapstick kitchen scene in Act Two. All you- _all of you_ -have to do is turn up, know your lines and ACT LIKE ADULTS!"

"Never gonna happen, my man," Tuff told him obviously.

"Really?" Heather asked, eyeing him up thoughtfully. "Last I heard, you both needed to pass English to graduate. And if this Pantomime fails, none of us get credits. Now I'm pretty sure that Hiccup and Astrid have already got more than enough credits to graduate and will still get Honours. Fish, Cami and I are also gonna be okay. But are the rest of you all okay with failing English?"

There was a pregnant pause as they all considered what would happen if they scored 0% in English.

"They couldn't to that," Thuggory protested. "I mean Eret and I have football scholarships and they can't screw up our lives just because the twins glued Gustav's mouth shut and Snotlout can't get his chest sorted!"

"Now look here!" Snotlout snapped, marching forward angrily. The effect was lessened by the hugely overstuffed chest, padded pink and yellow dress and huge pink wig with the lacy cap perched on top. "While you have been standing there, making snide comments and behaving like the asses you are, I have been getting into costume, preparing myself mentally and am ready to go...except the muttonheaded twins glued Gustav's mouth shut and Astrid..." He looked around. "Where is Astrid anyway?"

"Take five everyone-and Heather-could you please help Snotlout level out his chests?" Hiccup asked, looking around for his (secret) girlfriend. "I'll find Astrid." And with that, he walked out of the room, leaned against the wall and breathing hard. "Just once," he muttered. "Just once I would love them to actually try..." And then he headed off towards the gym.

As expected, he found Astrid-still in full costume-wearing a pair of boxing gloves and pounding a bag furiously. She screamed and spun, slamming a couple of fierce kicks into the leather and finally she dealt a punch that almost knocked the punchbag off its chain. Standing well out of range, Hiccup clapped ironically.

"I guess that was Eret?" he asked and she nodded, lowering her guard and breathing hard.

"Is it so hard for them to just behave like normal people?" she asked.

"They are normal...for them..." Hiccup reminded her. "It's just by global standards, they are probably far more than two standard deviations from the mean."

"More like five!" she agreed and pulled off her gloves, walking up to lean against him and feel him wrap his arms around her. "They're idiots. I don't know how you put up with them." He shrugged.

"I only do because our parents are all going to be there and they have all changed their Christmas plans to attend this. And how can we make them sit through an utter shambles? I can only do my best and try to get them to come along with me. Mr Mulch asked me to produce and direct the pantomime probably because he felt guilty that I didn't have a part and now the whole thing will be a failure. And my Dad will be there to see it." He bowed his head.

"Hiccup-it won't be a failure because of you," she said gently, wrapping her arms around him. "You couldn't have done any more-and you have been amazing. I just wish your Dad-and everyone-could see how fantastic you are. I mean, no one could have made this lot do anything more and you know all the words, all the songs and all the stage directions. You made this sets, built the coach and designed the costumes. All we have to do is act our parts...and no one will do that. And I will make very sure that-whatever happens-they know that you couldn't have done any more."

He leaned forward and kissed her.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he murmured.

"Be Hiccup," she replied with a smile. "Because being Hiccup is the best thing in the world."

"Even though I am only 90% of a normal person?" he asked, his tone a little pained. She gently punched his shoulder.

"Babe-don't you listen to that asshole Eret," she said angrily. "Muspelheim will freeze over before I go out with that idiot-and I am certainly not kissing him in the Panto..."

"Hmm...I'm not sure kneeing him in the nethers will have the same romantic effect at the climax of the Panto," he pointed out.

"Could we try it? Please?" she asked but he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I would love to go to the Ball with you, Cinderella, but I'll be sitting in the wings, watching you and Eret dance," he reminded her.

"Yeah-except he can't get the steps and hasn't turned up for the rehearsals where we've gone through the dance number. Or any of the extra practices. In fact, I have only ever danced with you, Mr Skinny." Hiccup looked self-conscious.

"I am sure he will do fine...if he ever turns up," he sighed.

"I could trip him up," she suggested. "Or kick him..."

"Why is everything violence with you?" He asked her, a small smile lifting his lips.

"It's not violence, it's communication," she reminded him. He chuckled.

"I think the punchbag feels it's been severely over-communicated with," he smiled, glancing at the punchbag, which promptly fell off its chain. Both the teens burst out laughing. "Remind me never to get you mad," he added as she hugged him.

"Never," she smiled.

Outside, the twins, Cami and Heather shared a variety of glances. They had guessed where Astrid would be but overhearing the tender scene between the two had them all thinking.

"Did you hear what I heard?" Cami asked them with a thoughtful look in her eye.

"Hiccup has scored the Ice Queen!" Tuff grinned and high-fived his sister.

"NO!" Heather hissed, hauling them back from the entrance to the Gym. "Look-everything he said-and she said-were true. Hiccup has been amazing in this and we have all let him down."

"And ourselves," Ruff added. They all stared at her. "What? Is that not what has happened?" she asked the shocked listeners. "Cami is refusing to be a proper fairy godmother, we've pranked the Helheim out of everyone-mainly Hiccup, I admit-and Heather has played along but can't do it on her own."

"Okay...suppose I agreed," Cami muttered, glancing back at the Gym. "What could we do?"

"Well, it was pretty funny when Mr Mulch forgot to give Hiccup a part-but it isn't funny now," Tuff said. "Eret and Thuggory have been really mean-not just to Hiccup but they've hit on Astrid, Heather and Cami all the way through. Thuggory even tried to hit on Phlegma once."

"Ouch," Heather agreed at the memory. It had taken five of them to pull him out of the air vent.

"No one has hit on me," Ruff said suddenly. "At all. Ever." The group shared an embarrassed look.

"Maybe you scare them off, sis?" Tuff suggested after a long moment, his fingers crossed.

"And I mean-Cami and Heather are in a relationship. Together. As in no interest in boys-and everyone knows that-and they still hit on them!" Ruff protested.

"If it's any consolation, Fishlegs has asked me if you're into boys," Tuff said in an embarrassed voice.

"No way!" Cami exclaimed.

"Yes I am!" Ruff protested.

"So you want me to say he can ask you out?" Tuff checked and she nodded.

"Helheim-yeah!" she said with a grin. "Whoo-hoo!" And then she looked at the others. "Sorry-got a bit carried away…" Cami glanced over her shoulder and then hauled them back as Hiccup and Astrid emerged from the gym, hand in hand. They headed in the other way as the little group huddled together.

"Look, I think they actually make a cute couple and Eret and Thuggery deserve taking down a peg or twenty," she said, her blue eyes sparkling with determination. "I have an idea-and we'll need everyone's help…including Fishlegs and Gustav."

"Hmm…he may not come anywhere near us," Tuff commented in a self-conscious voice. "Even if he can shout at us to stay away…"

"That will teach him to eat gum just before the curtain goes up," Heather muttered. "So what are you planning, Cami?" She grinned.

"I think this pantomime is going to be the most talked-about in the history of Berk," the blonde grinned, beckoning them to gather round. "So here's what we'll do..."

 **A/N: Last part (the actual performance) tomorrow!**


	6. Chapter 6

**SIX:**

After a second try at a dress rehearsal where Mr Mulch had shouted at the entire class-including Hiccup-and run an uncharacteristically bad-tempered run through, the class were finally gathered on the big day of the one and only performance of "Berk High's Cinderella'. To everyone's dismay, the whole of the school was invited so in preference to classes, the whole of all four years of Berk High were seated in the Hall along with the parents of the performers all waiting eagerly.

"Okay-is everybody ready?" Hiccup asked. He had his annoted script, tissues, laces, duck tape and a box of powder in his pocket and was twitchy and nervous, trying to ensure that everything would go smoothly. Astrid was already ready, in her ragged light blue dress, her ballgown hanging from the rail in the wings. Snotlout was fussing, his huge pink wig and overstuffed chest jostling everyone as he went by. His multiple costume changes were all hanging on a rail by Astrid's gown, precisely laid out so he could change in moments. The twins were giggling, casting worrying glances at Hiccup and then laughing and Cami stomped by in a cloud of tulle, her hair improbably tamed and coiled in an elegant knot on top of her head. A wand was clamped in her hand as she sought out Heather, grinning as she saw her girlfriend looking poised in a long sleeved white shirt, deep blue thigh length waistcoat and grey breeches with black knee length boots, her long raven hair pulled back into a tight folded club at the nape of her neck and tied with a silver bow.

"You look amazing, babe," she smiled and Heather blushed.

"I make a pretty awesome boy," she smirked but Cami slapped her rump and she yelped.

"You'd need a bit of sock stuffing if you were serious," the blonde chuckled and stomped to her position behind the curtains as the narrator. The cast all pulled back to their positions, with Eret and Thuggory sneering at Hiccup and making comments at Astrid. Hiccup shushed them and they shared a glance and slank off to the back of backstage, for they weren't on for a few minutes. The sounds of the music blared through the speakers and the audience quietened as Queen's " _It's a kind of magic"_ played and then faded and the curtains pulled back. Cami stood in the middle of the stage and twiddled with her wand. She looked up, saw the audience and grinned.

"Oh hey!" she said.

"I'm the Fairy Godmother. My name is Fay.

I'm here to start the tale of woe-

that not so very long ago

a young girl lost her her beloved Dad

it really was very sad.

His new wife, her step mother,

had her own children, two other

step-sisters, cruel and mean

times for Cinders became very lean,

they stole her home and all her she had

everything she had left by Dad.

Instead she slaves among the dirt

doing all the menial work

so among the ashes for now she stays

until she can one day find a way

to change her fortune and win the day…

In other words, to get away.

So now the précis is out the way

Let us present our humble play…"

Waving her wand, the curtain behind her raised to reveal the kitchen set and Gustav, sitting at the table, looking around warily in case the twins had boobytrapped the set as a scattering of applause sounded from the impressed parents. Pulling himself together, he began his speech and waved at the audience.

"So now you're my friends, I want you to do something for me," he said. "When I come on and say 'Hello Everybody' I want you to reply 'Hello Buttons, how's it going?'. Can you do that?"

There was a silence. Gustav cupped his ear.

"I can't hear you!" he announced. "I said-can you do it?"

There was a faint mumbling of 'yes' as the audience looked at one another. The large flatscreen that had been placed by the side of the stage flashed up advising 'Yes we can!'

"I said, I can't hear you," Gustav grinned. "Great Thor-did they put anaesthetic in the air con? I said-Can You Do It?"

"Yes we can!"

"Oh no you can't," Gustav challenged them.

"Oh yes we can!" the audience yelled getting into it.

"Oh no you can't!" Gustav yelled happily.

"OH YES WE CAN!" the entire audience roared and Gustav grinned and gave them a double thumbs up as Hiccup fist-pumped in the wings, relieved that they had got the idea. Though Berkians were generally stubborn and argumentative, they loved shouting and an entertaining show.

"I believe you!" he announced. "Now where is Cinderella?" and Astrid walked in, her arms full of firewood, an axe in one hand.

Hiccup sat back as 'Cinderella' explained how busy she was and how many tasks she had still to do. Gustav-or 'Buttons the Page'-offered to help her and then had to hide in the cupboard as the Cook appeared. There were laughs as Snotlout bumbled into the set, his padded shape in the pink and white striped dress, hugely padded bust and enormous pink wig with a cotton cap on top.

"Lawks a lordy!" he exclaimed, flapping his rouged face as Hiccup silently cheered him for _finally_ getting the line right. "I'm all of a tizzy! Those sisters are the most ill-mannered, rude, mean people in the whole Kingdom of Berk!" He collapsed into the rocking chair and flapped his face. As the scene continued. Snotlout launched into his song, moaning about his lot. ' _Who wants to be a millionaire?'_ was greeted by cheers and whooping and the stocky boy was grinning from ear to ear before he pulled himself together and got back into part.

The scene changed to the centre of the town as Heather as Selina, a young woman with no money who was pretending to be young man, Cedric, to try to get a job and then runs into Fishlegs, the Prince's courtier, Arnold. Pretending to be a man, she was hired as a courtier as well and found Arnold becoming her friend. And then in the wings, Cami sidled closer to Hiccup as the scene changed back to the kitchen and the twins as the Ugly Sisters hamming it up. As Mulch had hoped and Hiccup had worked hard to achieve, the twins were amazing-loud, with perfect timing and completely inappropriate. The audience were laughing loudly and the laughter got even louder as Snotlout returned in his garish dress, playing the stressed cook.

Hearing the laughter and seeing the fun his classmates were having, Hiccup felt another pang of disappointment that all he was doing was directing but it was too late now. Mulch would know his contribution-but his father wouldn't have to thrill of seeing his only child up on stage. He sighed and backed away as Phlegma appeared as the Evil Stepmother to the boisterous hisses and boos of the audience. And then Cami grabbed his arm.

"We have a problem!" she hissed. Hiccup tensed. "Eret and Thuggory have gone missing-and they're on next!"

"What?" he hissed.

"Gone. Vanished. Evaporated. They're nowhere to be found!" she explained with a grin.

"What? How?"

"Look-no point worrying-you gotta cover for the Prince," Cami said urgently and glanced over at Gustav. The youngest member of the class grabbed Hiccup and hauled him to the rail, gesturing to a costume hanging there. Hiccup frowned because he had never seen it before: white shirt, gold waistcoat, deep green frock coat, lighter green breeches and shiny brown boots.

"Unless you want the Panto to come screeching to a halt, you need to get changed!" Gustav hissed and glancing round and wondering when Eret was going to jump out and sneer at him, Hiccup rested his clipboard and script down on a chair and stripped his sweater off, revealing his lean, pale, lightly freckled torso. He swiftly pulled the shirt on and then looked at the other two.

"A little privacy, please?' he murmured and refused to move until they turned round, when he stripped off his jeans and pulled on the breeches and boots, struggling but managing to get his prosthetic into the boot. Tucking the shirt in, he pulled on the waistcoat and fastened it up and tied a gold cravat around his throat. Cami adjusted her position so she could get a better view in the mirror she was using to watch the whole process and smiled: Hiccup looked amazing in the outfit that Tuff had sewn for him. _Even though I'm not buying, no harm in window shopping,_ she thought with a smirk as he fastened up his waistcoat. Unable to help herself, she turned round and Hiccup yelped as she invaded his personal space, grabbing his shoulder, dusting his face with powder, running her fingers through his messy auburn hair and tugging it back into a very small ponytail which she secured with a black bow.

"You look perfect," she hissed, glancing onto the stage and seeing 'Cook' chasing the twins around with a broom and then off the stage. "And you're on!" Glancing over at Heather and Fishlegs, who were entering from the opposite side of the stage, Hiccup took a deep breath and walked forward, smiling as the other two greeted him with bows and smiles. Focussing only on the other two and acting the scene as he had watched Eret in the past, he opened his mouth and confidently said his first line.

In the audience, Stoick sat with jaw dropped and mouth open, staring as his son confidently bantered with the two 'courtiers' about the King's orders to attend the Ball and find a wife, poised and smiling as he effortlessly inhabited the part. Gobber, his best friend from Elementary School who had lost a hand and a foot in the army and had helped him since his wife had died, leaned close, his blue eyes twinkling and long braided blonde moustache swinging as he moved.

"Ye didnae tell me that the laddie was in this shindig," he whispered loudly. Stoick stared as Hiccup grinned at his friends and joined them in singing ' _There is nothing like a dame_ '.

"I-I didn't know," he murmured. "He told me they didn't have a part for him…" Gobber grinned.

"Looks like they got the perfect part fer him," he pointed out, watching Hiccup performing the song in absolute synchronicity with the other two. Heather winked at the audience, who knew that 'Cedric' actually _was_ a 'dame'. At the end of the number, the three walked off, chatting amiably to huge applause, led by the Mayor who was astonished and overjoyed by his son's performance.

Breathing hard and shocked at where he had found the courage to stand in front of so many people and act with no practice or preparation (apart from practicing the performance with almost every other cast member), Hiccup stopped as he arrived in the wings and faced Astrid, who was waiting for her cue. She caught his hands and grinned, then reached up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"You were amazing," she whispered. "I knew you would be."

"That makes one of us," he mumbled as she swatted his shoulder gently.

"Muttonhead," she whispered with a smile. "You know this part-you practiced all of the second Act with me while I was learning my lines." He looked at her and then he heard the words from stage.

"You're on!" he hissed and she dodged onto the stage, resuming her part as the feisty Cinderella when Phlegma as the wicked StepMother and the twins as the Stepsisters received the Prince's invitation for the Ball. Cedric made sure that Cinderella knew she was invited and as the family prepared for the Ball, she was prevented from going, her dress ruined and she was eventually locked in the cupboard by the twins who grinned and dropped the key in the jar, leaving 'Cinderella' trapped. Buttons and Cook released her, with the help of the audience who yelled where the key was hidden, using the traditional shouts of _'It's behind you!'_ Once released, she showed them her wrecked ball dress that had been her dead mother's and touched, they tried to offer her one of Cook's insanely ridiculous dresses to go to the Ball and though Cinderella tried it on, she looked ridiculous. Forcing herself to smile, she thanked them but knew it was hopeless so she remained sadly sitting by the fire as they headed down to the Pub.

Hiccup altered the lighting, subduing the lights and switching on Cami's spotlight. There was a pause and she pranced on. Hiccup watched the transformation of Cinderella from ragged skivvy to beautiful Princess in her sparkling gown. As Cami waved Astrid off in the pumpkin coach, the sounds of 'Dancing Queen' rang out and the curtain came down at the end of the first Act.

Staring across the cast, Hiccup frowned.

"Okay-where are Eret and Thuggory?" he demanded as they all looked at him. Most were drinking a little water and looking for their Second Act costumes. The twins shared a look.

"They decided they didn't want to be in the Pantomime any more," Ruff said simply, dragging off her orange dress and pulling on a garish purple one, covered with far too many frills and ruffs and a huge lemon yellow bow on the tush.

"Yeah, they just cleared out and poof! Gone…" Tuff agreed, getting into his scarlet dress with the pale blue bow. He was wearing a very bouffant blue wig as well.

"Now, I know they want to be in this because they want their credits towards Graduation," Hiccup said sternly, folding his arms. "Especially since they have done absolutely nothing to earn them…"

"Well, they're not here now," Cami commented. Looking carefully round, Hiccup gave them all an exasperated look.

"Guys-they need these credits as well," he told them as his emerald glaze swept the group. "We need to give them the chance to take part…" Cami huffed.

"Okay-well, Gustav, Snot and I will go because you are all in the Ballroom scene!" she said firmly.

"But…"

"It's going brilliantly!" Mr Mulch said enthusiastically. "I wasn't aware you had recast but I am impressed, Hiccup. You're really getting the Prince better than Eret ever did. I like the decisiveness you have showed as Director after the last rehearsal-good work! Now five minutes to the next Act!"

"But I…"

"And the change of songs is inspired," Mulch said. Hiccup blushed. The rather disastrous Dress Rehearsals hadn't covered the music and he had worked hard to get the gang singing as well as they could. "I am impressed at how well you are all working as a team. Keep up the good work!" He gave a double thumbs-up and vanished. Hiccup glared at Cami, Gustav and Snotlout.

"Please find out what happened to Eret and Thuggory!" he said and hurried to get to his position on the other side of the stage as they three headed round the back. Snotlout stopped and folded his arms, scowling…though the effect was diminished by his huge pink wig.

"Okay, spill," he demanded. "Those guys would never bail when they could get credits for doing next to nothing!" Gustav and Cami shared a look and then she sighed.

"The twins trapped them in the janitor's closet and locked the door," she explained. Snotlout tilted his head.

"Uh…why?" he asked.

"To give Hiccup a chance," Cami explained.

"But why?"

"Because he's helped us all, because he deserves it and because he's going out with Astrid so he deserves to kiss her in front of the whole school-because frankly, it's the only way we'll ever get him to admit they're an item," Cami told him.

"But…but she's really hot and he's Hiccup!" he protested.

"Snot-who's the star of this show?" Gustav asked him. The stocky young man adjusted his overstuffed bust and then planted his hands on his hips.

"The Panto Dame-me, obviously!" he replied.

"And who allowed you to get in touch with your feminine side and gave you the confidence to act?" Cami asked him pointedly.

"I mean-when we started, you didn't want to be Cook," Gustav pointed out. "And now-look at you. Completely awesome, acting your socks off, singing, dancing and getting the biggest laughs in the show."

There was a thoughtful pause.

"I know my Dad will be shocked but honestly, I have never enjoyed School so much…apart from Football," he admitted. "And this was the only way I could ever hope to pass English. And I think I want to do this again…" He glanced in the direction of the janitor's closet. "And they will mess it up, won't they?"

Cami and Gustav nodded in unison. Snotlout glanced around, hearing the sounds of banging on the door and shouts of ' _Let us out!'_.

"No sign of them anywhere," he said decisively. "Right-back to the set. Don't want to be late for our cues!"

Meanwhile, the Second Act had started at the Ball with the twins singing 'It's Raining Men!' and then throwing themselves at an awkward-looking Hiccup, who needed "Cedric' and 'Arnold' to protect him. Just as they reminded him he needed to dance with one of them, Astrid as Cinderella arrived, looking beautiful in a full length blue ballgown, strewn with sequins and crystals, her hair braided into a coil on the back of her head, glass slippers gleaming on her feet. The strains of _'Love is a Many Splendour'd Thing'_ rang out as they locked eyes and they both smiled and walked to meet each other, clasping hands as the band struck up. And not the planned waltz but ' _She Bangs'_. Fishlegs grabbed Ruffnut's hand and Tuff partnered with Heather as they all launched into a very impressive Tango.

The entire audience were on their feet as they finished, breathing hard. Stoick had a smile on his face that looked as if it would crack in two.

"Ye never told me the laddie could dance," Gobber pointed out between whistling and cheering.

"I never knew," Stoick murmured. "Especially since…" He swallowed. "He must have got it from Val."

"And that lass is perfect for him," Gobber commented sagely. "He looks genuinely happy."

"He is," his father noted with a smile as the audience finally took their seats. "He's gotten to dance with that lass he really likes." And he was smiling as he and Astrid gently sparred, trying to find out her name and she just introduced herself as 'Blondie'. Smiling, Hiccup leaned forward.

"Can I say something crazy?" he asked.

"I love crazy," Astrid grinned, catching his meaning. Hiccup took her hands and gently began to sing.

 _"_ _All my life has been a series of doors in my face, and then suddenly I bump into you."_

 _"_ _I was thinking the same thing!_ " Astrid sang back.

 _"_ _'Cause like I've been searching my whole life to find my own place, And maybe it's the party talking or the chocolate fondue…But with you…"_

 _"_ _But with you,"_ Astrid sang, swaying with the music. _"I found my place…"_

 _"_ _I see your face.."_ Hiccup continued. _"And it's nothing like I've ever known before! Love is an open door!"_

 _"_ _Love is an open door!"_ Astrid echoed.

 _"_ _Love is an open door…"_ they sang together. And then Hiccup grinned, taking her hand. _"I mean it's crazy…"_

 _"_ _What?_ " Astrid asked.

 _"_ _We finish each other's-"_

 _"_ _Sandwiches!"_ Astrid interrupted with a laugh. Hiccup leaned close.

 _"_ _That's what I was gonna say!"_ he sang. _"I've never met someone-"_

 _"_ _Who thinks so much like me!"_ they both said at the same time and laughed. _"Jinx! Jinx again! Our mental synchronization Can have but one explanation…"_

 _"_ _You…"_

 _"_ _And I…"_

 _"_ _Were…"_

 _"_ _Just…"_

 _"_ _Meant to be!"_ they sang together, hands clasped as they gently danced together. _"Say goodbye...To the pain of the past. We don't have to feel it anymore! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Life can be so much more. Meant to be! Say goodbye...To the pain of the past_

 _We don't have to feel it anymore! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Life can be so much more! With you! With you! Love is an open door…"_ They rested their hands flat against one another's and stared into one another's eyes.

 _"_ _Love is an open door,"_ Hiccup sang gently and closed his hands, his fingers slipping to lace with hers. There were 'awws' from the audience. Then he smiled. "Can I say something crazy?" he asked her gently. "Will you marry me?"

Astrid smiled and opened her mouth…

And then the clock began to chime Midnight. She gasped and then glanced at the door-before looking back into Hiccup's eyes.

"I gotta go!" she gasped and broke away.

"Wait!" he cried. "When can I see you again?"

"Never!" she said and ran from the Ballroom, leaving a glass slipper behind. Hiccup dropped to his knees and held it tenderly as he stared after 'Cinderella' and the curtains closed. When they opened, they were back in the kitchen with Cook and 'Buttons' by the fire. The panto sped on with the proclamation that the Prince was coming round to see who would fit the glass slipper-and he would marry her. Hiccup aced the song of ' _She_ ' when he arrived at the House to huge applause and then the Stepmother realised who he was talking about. Astrid was locked in a closet by her before she could make herself known and the twins tried on the glass slipper without success. But Buttons released 'Cinderella' and as she came forward for her turn, the Evil Stepmother caused Arnold to drop the slipper and it smashed…only for 'Cinderella' to produce the other glass slipper and try it on to prove she was the mystery woman 'Blondie'. The twins were wailing and crying at losing their chance as Prince Hiccup asked 'Cinderella' to marry him. And this time, she said 'Yes'.

The audience cheered.

The final scene was the wedding with Hiccup and Astrid holding hands and kissing tenderly, both wearing crowns as Cedric reveals he is a girl and Arnold asks her to marry him.

Suddenly, there was a commotion and very dishevelled Eret and Thuggory burst through the scenery, their gazes locking on the shape of Hiccup. Thuggory was bright green-even down to his eyelashes-and Eret appeared to have feathers stuck all over him, causing an outbreak of laughter from the audience who were eager to see what happened next. Eret drew his arm back even as Astrid was yelling 'Watch Out!' and punched the auburn-haired young man. He staggered backwards and fell off the stage.

"That's for locking us in a closet!" Eret yelled.

"Hey-he didn't!" Cami shouted back as Astrid glared at him.

"You know what, you self-important ass?" she snapped. "No one missed you! Hiccup was a far better Prince and an infinitely superior person than you!"

"Bet you missed me with the kiss," he scoffed.

"Not for a second," she snapped and grabbed her gown, lifting it as she landed a furious kick in his middle and a second to the face. He flew back and impacted the floor hard. The twins threw themselves at Thuggory and jumped him, with Ruff wrapping herself around his shoulders while he tried to hit Tuff. The male twin desperately searched his pocket as Thuggory grabbed his collar and tossed a packet of grey powder in his face. Instantly everyone began to sneeze.

"Muttonhead!" Ruff managed between three sneezes. "That was the Super-Strength Sneezalot! You're only supposed to use a pinch!"

"Gettoff me!" Thuggory sneezed and threw Ruff-though Fishlegs managed to catch her. She instantly wrapped her arms around him and launched into a frenzied kiss that had the husky guy flailing for air. Snotlout threw himself at Thuggory and suddenly punches were flying before Heather and Cami leapt at Eret, who was trying to get up and clothes-lined him. He went down again. Astrid, meanwhile, had scrambled off the stage and was crouching by Hiccup, who was winded and pressing a hand to his bruised face.

"Are you okay, babe?" she asked, gently helping him sit up. He winced.

"Oww!" he protested. "Why did he hit me? What happened? Who locked him in a closet?" Astrid glanced up at the stage and saw Tuffnut and Snotlout trying to pin Thuggory while Heather, Gustav and Cami were lying on top of Eret.

"I would give you three guesses but I don't think we need to ask," she sighed. "Sorry, babe-it was going so well." Heather glanced down.

"We were all in on it-except Snotlout and he helped Gustav not free them once we told him what was going on," she called, wrestling with Eret and liberally pouring 'Thorstons' Patented No Relief' itching powder all over him. He yelled and frantically started scratching. Cami scrambled to her knees, her dress ripped and an eye bruised.

"Yeah-you did so much for us all in this Pantomime that we thought you deserved the part you should be playing-the Prince," she said.

"I mean, we kind of saw you and Astrid together and thought she would be happier kissing you than that ass Eret," Ruff added, her hand clamped around Fishlegs's.

"She's not wrong there," Astrid commented, helping Hiccup to his feet.

"You helped everyone and were so patient when we were so awful that we decided we would do our absolute best to make this a success," Gustav added, scratching his arm where he had caught a little itching powder as well.

"And it was going so well until they burst in and ruined it," Heather sighed. Hiccup looked up and saw the audience unsure what to do but hanging on everyone's words.

"No, they didn't," he said firmly, rubbing his bruised jaw. "You were all great-and I think we gave the audience a great show…except…Cami…you need to do the end narration…"

Cami looked up from where she was sitting on the edge of the stage and grinned at the stunned audience. She thought quickly because the original script certainly didn't cover this brawl.

" _And now our little play is done_

 _We hope that you have had some fun._

 _Evil is conquered and true love won._

 _Cinderella has her Mister Right_

 _And we all bid you a good night_

 _While we continue with this fight!_ "

The curtain came down as the audience, rather hesitantly, began to cheer, There were still curses and the curtain was being moved by the continuing brawl but the audience decided it had probably ended and they all got to their feet, clapping and cheering. Astrid helped Hiccup back up onto the stage and they took their bows as the rest of the cast gradually-and in various states of disrepair-appeared to thank the audience. Snotlout had a black eye and had lost one of his chests but got the biggest cheer of them all, alongside Hiccup and Astrid and as the cast finally trailed behind the curtain once more, the cheers slowly died down.

Mulch was beaming from ear to ear as he popped through the curtains and grinned at his cast-apart from the two jocks who were sneezing and itching respectively.

"Well done everyone-As all round except Mister Haddock who gets A+ and Eret and Thuggory…you can see me after the holidays and explain why you decided to disrupt the play right at the end. If you had an issue, you come to me. You do NOT try to ruin the others' hard work by your behaviour!" Then he looked up. "By the way, the audience is still cheering-you should take a final bow!"

So the gang all filed out, Hiccup and Astrid in the middle and took a final bow to the cheers of the audience. Stoick was looking so proud that Hiccup felt his heart soar: all he had ever wanted was to make his father proud and he was so happy that he had been given the chance-by his friends, no less, when he had least expected it. Then he turned to look into Astrid's eyes.

"You know-the twins have tied some mistletoe over the centre of the proscenium arch," Astrid murmured. "Seems a shame to waste it…" So he leaned forward, took her in his arms and kissed her for all he was worth to the cheers, whoops and whistles of the entire school and the unmistakeable sounds of Stoick yelling 'That's my boy!' When they finally pulled back, both were breathing hard and smiling stupidly.

"Merry Christmas, Hiccup," Astrid smiled and he grinned back.

"Merry Christmas, Milady," he said.

 **The End**

 **A/N And Merry Christmas to you all.**

 **A/N #2 "Love Is an Open Door" is a song written by Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez for Walt Disney Animation Studios's 53rd animated feature film Frozen.**


End file.
